Here's To The Future
by TheJazz
Summary: The Marauders head out into the world after Hogwarts. But there's more to moving on in life than living on your own and having fun with your friends, as they discover. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

Sirius Black had always loved dogs. He was never allowed one growing up, but he really liked them, as lame and girly as that sounds. To maintain his manliness it should also be known that he thought bigger dogs were better. So it should come as no surprise that he had the ability to turn into a huge black dog at will.

Remus Lupin, on the other hand, never really liked animals. Unless they were the subject or the intriguing characters in a book. However, he was never really worried about his manliness or girly-ness. He could turn into an animal, of course, but he had always hated doing it. That was before there were Marauders.

"Alright, chaps," a black-haired, bespectacled boy said, clapping his hands together. "Here it is. The last –"

"Full moon of the year," the other black haired boy finished, his arms slung over a small, no longer mousey looking boy, and a thin, ragged looking boy, who was grinning. "And Moony's even happy!"

The ragged boy, Moony, or Remus, laughed. "Well," he said wisely, "it will be your last hurrah frolicking with a werewolf."

"Pah, Moony," the bespectacled boy said, waving the statement off like a fly.

"Won't we – do this – after we're graduated?" the small boy said, trying to shove the constricting arm off his shoulders. "Sirius? James?"

He looked to the two black-haired boys.

"James says we won't."

Remus and the small boy looked at the bespectacled boy, who threw up his hands.

"Lily said that –"

The other three groaned, and Remus pulled himself out from under the arm.

"What did I tell you, Pete?" the black haired boy asked the other under his arm.

"She would ruin the Marauders," Peter recited. "You knew it long ago."

"Sirius also said he would marry a hippogriff if Lily ever said yes,  
Remus added from across the room.

Peter laughed, slipping away from Sirius.

"Mail order, I tell you," Sirius said. The other three laughed, but only Remus caught the wink thrown at him.

As their laughter died down Remus shivered. "Alright. It's fighting that pain potion."

Sirius whooped, slapping their bare back. "Ace! Let's go!"

And the naked form of Sirius black was replaced by a big, black dog.

Peter nodded, grinning, at Remus before becoming a rat.

"Our little Wormtail has come a long way," James said to Remus as he watched the dog chase the rat.

Remus only nodded, his jaw clamped shut. James set his glasses upon the shelf with their clothes. With a smile at Remus, he turned into a magnificent stag.

By this time, Remus was only half-human. It took only thirty seconds for the agonizing, bone-stretching transformation to leave a werewolf where Remus Lupin had been standing. With an excited bark, Padfoot led the way out of the Shrieking Shack and into another Full Moon Adventure.

Featuring: The Marauders.

* * *

"That was fun," Peter said quietly as they lay on the dusty floor of the Shrieking Shack, the sun on the horizon. "I mean –"

"Pete," Sirius interrupted. "Be quiet. Savour it."

Remus snorted.

"Don't do it, Moony," James said automatically. "Not today."

Remus remained hushed.

And they lay silent as the sun came up. They lay naked as the floorboards and wall joists creaked around them. It would be the last time the Marauders would lay sprawled on that floor. The last time James would draw little circles in the dust with his fingers. The last time Sirius would stare up at the ceiling panting like the dog he had spent the night as. The last time Remus would lie with his eyes closed, listening to the medley of their breathing. The last time Peter would inevitably ask, after feeling his stomach rumble longer than five minutes, "What's for breakfast?"

James grinned. "No idea, mate," he said softly.

"Who's bringing it?" Sirius asked.

"Lily," James sighed. Remus could almost hear the other two roll their eyes.

"Will we greet her like this?" Remus asked, immobile.

"We've done it before," Sirius said with an evil grin. "She seemed to like it."

"She told me she had nightmares for weeks," Remus remarked casually.

"That's what she said to _you_," Sirius cheeked. When James turned his head to glare at Sirius, the mercurial boy gave a roughish wink.

"Oh, God, Sirius," James complained loudly, sitting up. "That's my girlfriend you're talking about!"

Sirius and Peter laughed, sitting up as Remus merely smiled, still lying down. By the time the laughter eased off, James had thrown clothes to them all but Remus. To the recovering boy, James dutifully threw a blanket over him.

The comfortable silence fell around them again as they waited for the rap on the trap door.

It came after Remus had fallen asleep, and the others were quiet as James helped Lily up through the trap door.

"Had a good run?" Lily whispered amusedly as James and Peter immediately launched themselves at the food.

"Pretty good, yeah," Sirius grinned, catching the sandwich James threw at him. "Someone is pretty tired though," he added, smiling at Remus beside him.

Lily nodded knowingly, a grin at the corners of her lips. "Tired him out again, you animals," she laughed softly.

"It's what we're here for, Lils," James said through a bite of sandwich. "But if you ever need to have a good sleep," he added, winking.

"Oh, Merlin," Peter moaned, closing his eyes as he stuffed the rest of the sandwich in his mouth. "Don't say it!"

Sirius let out a bark like laugh around his own mouthful, spraying food across the room. Lily cringed. Remus moaned.

"Shut up, for bloody –"

"Sorry, Moony," James said, and Remus cracked open an eye to glare at him. "Want a sandwich?"

Remus nodded, smiling, pushing himself up onto his elbows. "I need clothes too," he added softly.

"I'll go get them," Peter said eagerly, jumping up and tripping over his feet as he rushed to the stairs.

Lily shot a pointed glance at James.

"Oh, fine," he mumbled, getting up and following Peter.

Lily shot a pointed look at Sirius.

"Thank you," he breathed to her, before he swooped down on Remus and hugged him tightly. "Are you okay? For sure?" he asked quickly and quietly.

"Yeah," Remus breathed, smiling as Sirius kissed his cheek, then his nose. "Thanks."

"Of course," Sirius breathed, kissing him hard on the lips as footsteps echoed on the stairs. He quickly busied himself with arranging the blanket around Remus.

"Honestly, Pete," James said briskly, "do you walk much?"

"I crawl more than anything, now that I think about it," Peter remarked cheekily, tripping over his feet again as he reached the bottom of the stairs behind James.

James rolled his eyes, tossing Remus' clothes to his friend. "You are an enormous prat," he shot at Peter, who was pulling on his shoes. "And I'm going to kill you now."

"Outside, boys," Lily said, motioning them down the trap door. "And make sure you see Madam Pomfrey sometime today."

"Sure thing!" James called, out of sight with Peter squealing.

Lily laughed, turning back to Sirius and Remus. "You two get organized," she said. "I'll meet you back at the castle."

"Yeah, see you," Sirius said distractedly, unfolding Remus' sweater. Lily left the two boys alone in peace.


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius groaned, flopping down in the common room after taking Remus up to the hospital wing. It was the designated that the last marauder in the shack would take Remus up to Madam Pomfrey. Sirius smiled slightly as he recalled that it had been months that he was in the castle before Remus on these mornings.

"So you got him up okay there, Padfoot?" James asked, collapsing into the couch next to Sirius.

He nodded, exhausted.

"You, uh, have a letter waiting for you upstairs," James said quietly, knowing the reaction his friend would have. It was the same one every time a letter bearing the Black Family crest found its way to his best friend's pillow.

"Bugger," Sirius sighed, standing up. "I won't make it to supper tonight," he said unnecessarily. James only nodded, watching his friend go up the stairs.

Sirius frowned as he saw the letter upon his pillow. It was thicker than usual, which wasn't surprising, seeing as he had told them in his last letter that he would be living on his own, and didn't need their "assistance" any longer. His mother would have shred his Uncle Alphie to bits. No doubt he would hear about it now. With more apprehension than his detentions with McGonagall, he slit open the letter and sat heavily on the edge of his bed.

He threw it in the fire half an hour later on his way out of the portrait hole.

"Where are you going?" Peter asked. But Sirius ignored him.

Twenty minutes later, Remus was released from Madam Pomfrey's clutches.

"Where's Sirius?" he asked Peter as he entered the common room.

"Don't know," Peter shrugged, looking up from his letter to his mother. "Got a letter from his mother and left a while ago."

"Thanks," Remus grinned, turning back around. He was almost at the portrait hall again when Peter spoke up again.

"Are you two poofters?" he asked finally.

Remus smiled, turning back around. "Congratulations," he said softly. "You beat James to the chase."

And leaving Peter looking a cocktail of confused and triumphant, Remus went out into the castle looking for Sirius.

He didn't say anything as he sat beside Sirius.

It had started two years ago when Sirius had finally walked out on his family and the first heart-wrenching letter was sent to him. Sirius Black was not one to cry in front of his friends. So he found a spot on the edge of the lake, just hidden by a couple of wide oaks and bush that fed off the lake. He had intended for the lake to see his tears, but Remus – also heartbroken after his parent's divorce, had fancied the same spot. They shared their tears, and never spoke of it to any of the others.

"Burned Uncle Alphie off the tapestry," Sirius finally mumbled, his face dry.

Remus nodded.

"Said they hoped I would rot in the muggle stench."

"Typical."

Sirius looked at Remus, an unfamiliar expression in his eyes.

"Are you scared?"

Sirius shook his head, turning his gaze back to the lake. "Just worried."

"Why?"

"Everything is changing," Sirius whispered, watching the giant squid propel itself across the surface of the lake. "But there are some things I don't want to change, but what if they do?"

"Then we'll take it in stride," Remus whispered. "It's all we can do, isn't it?"

Sirius shrugged, cradling his face in his hands, his elbows on his knees.

Remus, in a moment of daring, kissed him lightly under the ear. Sirius smiled smally.

"What are we going to do?" he asked softly, looking at Remus, flushed and brave.

"Living always works."

Sirius actually laughed, lying back on the dirt. "I mean us," he said softly. "Are we still going to –?"

Remus shrugged, lying down beside him. "I want to," he whispered.

"Good," Sirius smiled. "So do I."

"Oh, and Pete's caught on."

Sirius laughed, smothering Remus with kisses. The best therapy.


	3. Chapter 3

"Want to talk about it?" Remus asked, holding Sirius in his arms as they looked at the stars. He felt Sirius shrug his shoulders.

"Just told me the same old: shame to the family, disowned, better off dead –"

His voice cracked and Remus hugged him closer.

"Will you live with me?" Sirius asked softly.

"Yeah," Remus grinned. "I will."

"You can wash dishes everyday."

Remus laughed. "Can I cook, too?"

"You want to eat my cooking?"

* * *

Peter was sitting in the common room with Lily when Remus Sirius got back later that night.

"We saved you some food from dinner," Lily said as they sat down, and pushed a plate of food towards them.

"Thanks, Lily," Remus said quietly, smiling.

Lily shrugged, smiling. "Least we could do."

Sirius and Peter were looking at each other.

"So, you know?"

Peter nodded. Sirius narrowed his eyes. "And?"

Peter shrugged. "I can't believe I figured it out before James."

Lily sighed. "He's so bloody thick sometimes!"

The three boys laughed.

* * *

"It's exam week, chaps!" James said happily, sitting down with the other four the following Monday.

"Yes, it is," Lily said sharply, shooting him a glare, "and if any pranks are pulled on me, I will murder you all."

"We're not stupid, Lily," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Well, some of us are slower than others," Peter chimed in, and the others looked pointedly down at their plates, grins on their faces.

"What?"

Lily shook her head, looking up at James. "Maybe you'll finally catch on this week," she said lightly. "Don't worry. Took Peter a while."

James continued to look confused as Professor McGonagall stood up at the Head Table.

"I'd like to ask everyone to leave the Great Hall at this time," she began, but James stood up.

"I haven't even had breakfast yet!"

The Gryffindor table laughed as their Head narrowed her eyes. "If you haven't eaten a sufficient amount at this time, there will be a buffet in your common rooms until the first exam is due to start." She looked around the Great Hall. "Anyone who misses an exam will fail that course. There have been students that stay here for more than the seven years required. Each exam will take place at the pre-alloted times in specific classrooms. If you don't know what exams you're taking –" She shook her head, mumbling what sounded suspiciously like "then Merlin help you," – "Then you must find out in the next half hour where you are to be. Seventh Years are to report back here and take your seats for your first exam in here." She glared around at them all. "Well? Get going!"

The Great Hall erupted in scraping chairs and shouting and panicked voices. Remus stood up, a stony look on his face.

"Well, I'm not eating anymore," Sirius said, stretching as they all stood up.

"Pete?" James said, looking at Peter. "Join me in the common room?"

Peter nodded, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"I'm coming with you," she said, smiling slightly. "Don't want you all to be late."

"I want to go the library," Remus said quietly as they all emerged from the hall. Sirius nodded as the others fled through a hidden tunnel to the common room. Remus led Sirius to the empty library and into the section about Transfiguration – their first exam.

"Moony," Sirius whined quietly, "you know all this. We all know this. Why are you –?"

"Because I don't think I do know it," Remus whispered, pulling a heavy volume off one of the uppermost shelves. "I can't remember –"

"Bullocks," Sirius breathed, pulling the book from the werewolf's hands and dropping it to the floor. "You do know it," he repeated, as Remus looked pained.

"I – I –"

Sirius reached forward and pulled Remus' tie towards him. As Remus tripped over the book on the floor, the shorter boy wrapped an arm around him.

"You'll be fine," he whispered, and Remus grinned slightly.


	4. Chapter 4

They had finished their exams. There was a week left for the students to stay at Hogwarts, and Lily was spending more time up in the hospital wing interning with Madam Pomfrey. Peter had toned down his mousey ways even more, and James had become mysteriously silent, missing obvious grabbing, prodding, whispering, and sly grins from Sirius to Remus. Peter had three galleons that James would piece it together by the end of June, Lily had six that he wouldn't realize until Christmas. Remus wisely did not bet, but Sirius had placed twenty galleons on the chance that James would think it was some elaborate prank. For a week. After New Years.

But Sirius, meantime, had received news that his Uncle Alphie – the only member of the Black family that genuinely cared for Sirius himself – had died in an attack. Remus as well heard word that his old nanny had passed away mysteriously. Both boys immediately linked the deaths to Death Eaters. And neither were pleased with it. Despite the sunny weather and their fellow classmates' happy dispositions, both boys lapsed into states of mild depression.

"Once upon a time, life was better than this."

"And before that?"

"It sucked even worse."

"So it's fluctuating?"

"I suppose so, mister Dictionary."

The retort was met by a light punch from the sandy-haired teen. Sirius only grinned at Remus, but his eyes held sadness. Remus wondered if they always would after this night.

"But that means that it'll get better, right?" he offered hopefully.

Sirius turned his face away from Remus as tears rolled down his cheeks. But he nodded, and Remus, frowning, looked out over the lake. For once, these two marauders were stuck. There seemed to be nothing left. No underground tunnels to take, no hidden passages to discover, no detentions to serve. They were trapped. Were they still marauders if they had no grand plan?

"We have to do something," Sirius said, and Remus turned to look at him, his brows to the hardness in the other boy's voice. "We can't just bloody well sit around and let it tear us all apart. We're marauders! _The_ marauders! We don't sit around!"

"What is there to do?" Remus asked softly as Sirius turned to him, passion alight in his grey eyes.

"Fight."

* * *

Remus sighed from behind James and Sirius' backs as Dumbledore looked at them closely.

"It will be extremely dangerous," the older wizard said slowly. "You will be risking not only your own lives, but the lives of the ones you love."

"That's already the case now, isn't it, professor?"

Dumbledore looked at Remus. "Indeed," he said slowly, "but if you do embark on this mission – this life-long mission – the dangers will only increase, and keep increasing." He leant forwards to the boys, and even Remus mirrored his movement. "This is not a job. You get no holiday time, no pay, nothing. This is a way of life. The consequences of putting one toe out of line, letting something slip, is detrimental to all of wizard kind. You must understand this."

"Yes sir."

Dumbledore did not smile. "The three of you, and your companions," he added, nodding to James, "are high risk as it is. Some of you Voldemort only wants dead." His eyes connected with James'. "Some of you he wants to use." This time is was Remus who stared into the blue moons. "And the others," he nodded to Sirius, "he wants to torture. To pay their debts. By joining this organization, I cannot promise that you will have enough protection to live however long you want to, but you will have protection, help, and a chance to be happy."

"That's all we want," James whispered. Remus and Sirius nodded.

"Then I will be happy to have you join," he said solemnly. "But you must understand that no one else is to know of this. Lily is welcome to join, as I'm sure she will, but you are not to advertise."

"Yes sir."

"After the graduation feast I would like the four of you – yes, James," he added as James started with his brow furrowed, "only the four of you. I understand that Mr Pettigrew is a good friend to you all, but we must practice constant vigilance."

The boys bowed their heads.

"You are to meet me here after the graduation feast," he continued, "where we will travel to an Order of the Phoenix meeting." He looked at them, resigned. "You may go."

"Thank you, sir," Sirius said softly as they reached the door.

"Sirius, James, Remus," Dumbledore said from his desk, and they looked back at him. "Please, call me Albus."


	5. Chapter 5

The three boys walked back into the common room, solemn faced. Lily and Peter, playing a game of chess, looked up quizzically as they sat around them. 

"Where did you go?" she asked, and Peter nodded.

"Yeah, you just upped and left us! Where did you go?" he echoed.

"No where," they answered in unison, and Peter looked at Sirius and Remus with his eyebrows raised.

"Like, a threesome?"

Remus' jaw dropped and Sirius laughed, loping and arm around his two friends.

"That's right, Pete," he grinned as Remus flushed and James looked at him oddly. "We had a grand old time without you two spoil-sports."

"You weren't supposed to say anything," Lily hissed at the smaller boy. Peter blushed and James stood up.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he glanced to the clock, and his face paled. "Never mind, I'll be back later. I'm late for –" But he never finished the sentence, and Lily watched him run out of the common room with a put-out look on her face.

"Is he an arse lately, or am I crazy?"

"How could you blow that, Pete?" Sirius scolded, ignoring Lily as Remus got up and went to the dormitory without saying anything. "We have bets on! You can't just –"

"He didn't notice though," Peter countered. "And your boyfriend just went upstairs."

Sirius looked from Peter to the dormitory stairs and back again. "We'll settle this later," he finally muttered.

Peter laughed and Lily turned to him.

"Is he cheating on me?"

Peter shook his head, grinning. "Not at all – I mean, good night, Lily." And he too left up the dormitory stairs leaving Lily in a huff and waiting for James.

"Oh," he added as he reached the top and called back down to Lily, "I'm supposed to make sure you have a nice dress or something."

"I do," Lily said crossly. "When is he –?"

"Good night, then."

The door slammed as the portrait opened and James looked into the common room.

"Go get dressed up," he said, not letting more than his head show. "Quickly. Or like that. Whatever works for you."

* * *

"Moony, did you wake up James?"

Remus shot a quizzical look at Sirius as he sat down. "James? There was no James to wake up. I thought he was already down here."

Peter looked between the two of them before speaking up. "Where do you think he is?"

"Why do you think we're so quiet?"

Peter frowned at Sirius. "Maybe you shouldn't be quiet then."

"Alright you two, that's enough," Remus interrupted as Sirius opened his mouth again to argue. "This isn't getting us anywhere. Are we going to look for him on the last Sunday morning of the year, or just wait for him to show up?"

Peter shrugged and returned to his eggs silently. Remus looked at Sirius who winked roguishly at him.

"I actually have some research to do," he said, piling eggs on his plate. "And I need to get it done soon, seeing as there's no way I'm actually going home."

"Finally going to get your own place?"

"James! Where were you?" Sirius exploded, moving over on the bench to make room for him.

James looked completely windswept. The boys could not decide whether he looked like he had just rolled out of bed, been running around the school, or had a good shag. Either way, it seemed as though he was positively glowing with – something. A mixture of pride, accomplishment, and sheepishness filled his features as his friends looked at him for some sort of explanation. But all he did was shrug, and the other boys let out exasperated sighs.

"You can't just go wandering off and not tell us where you went!"

"Or come in here looking like the hippogriff that ate the – the –!"

"What did she say?"

Both Sirius and Remus looked around at Peter confused. James let out a bark of laughter though his mouthful of sausage.

"I've been planning this for ages and you don't know what I'm talking about? Honestly, you'd think you two were – I don't know – shagging or something." James rolled his eyes.

"Well?" Peter prompted him as Remus and Sirius blushed.

"She didn't need any time to think about it, that's for sure."

Peter nodded and returned to his eggs. James looked at the other two.

"Honestly, what is wrong with you two?"

"I have research to do," Sirius said abruptly standing up. "Congratulations, mate," he added, smiling and slapping James on the back.

* * *

Okay. I would just like to take this opportunity to thank everone who is reading and reviewing. So... THANK YOU! It maked me extremely happy. And I'd like to apologize profusely for the super long wait, and to reassure everyone that it won't be that long before the next chapter. And also, "stuff" will be happening soon, so stick in there!

THANK YOU!


	6. Chapter 6

Remus found Sirius sitting in the Invisibility section of the library after hearing James' blow-by-blow account of his proposal to Lily. Sirius, however, was not browsing any of the books on the shelves, but a muggle newspaper that he had spread out in front of him. His tongue was stuck between his teeth as he squinted at the pages, his quill dripping ink on the floor beside him.

Remus lowered himself next to the boy silently and looked over his shoulder.

"Flats?"

Sirius nodded, circling one in the middle of the page and continuing to browse.

"When is, uh, that happening?"

Sirius shrugged. "Hopefully I can get one before I get out of here, and then I'll be moving in the first week of July. Or sooner." He shrugged. "I guess having James and Lily finally make a promise is making me want o get my life on the road, you know?"

"Oh, yeah," Remus breathed, watching him now with sad eyes.

They sat in silence for a little longer, and Sirius spoke again when he turned the page.

"I'm actually thinking a two room flat."

Remus looked at him warily. "Really?"

Sirius nodded, smiling slightly. "Yeah, I mean, what are you doing after we're out of here?"

Remus sat up, startled. "I – I don't know," he whispered. "I haven't thought about it." He shrugged and resumed his slouched position. "I guess I'll go back and live with my parents for a while, try to win a lottery, or find a job as a muggle."

Sirius dropped his quill. "A muggle?" he said loudly. Remus shushed him and he continued in a lowered but still furious voice. "You're going to settle for being a muggle after – you're brilliant! You can't just, not do magic anymore!"

"What else am I supposed to do?" he asked, putting his head in his hands. "I mean, no wizarding shops will hire me because of, well, and I can't support myself if I don't have a job."

Sirius stayed silent as he looked at Remus.

"I wish I could get out on my own," he continued into his hands. "Use the skills I've spent seven bloody years refining and expanding here, but, I can't."

It was true, and Sirius knew it. He had even tried the previous summer to get Remus a job, but when he called in sick for the full moon, they fired him on the spot. It was no use, they had decided. But only now was Remus actually complaining about it. Sirius grimaced. If he had to live with his parents for the rest of his life … he shuddered at the thought.

"Well then," he began softly, "whereabouts do you want to live in London?"

"I told you, I'm living with my parents."

"You don't want to live with me?" Sirius asked softly.

Remus looked up and met Sirius' grey eyes. "Is that an offer?"

"Would you rather me say 'Remus, I want you to move in with me after graduation because I'm head over heels for you and can support you and we can be happy together while we work for the Order'?"

Remus smiled. "Maybe, yeah."

Sirius laughed and too a deep breath. "Remus," he began again, "I want you to move in with me –"

But Remus leant in at that moment and captured Sirius' lips in a heated kiss. When they broke apart Remus leant his forehead against Sirius'.

"What about my, uh –"

"Furry little problem?"

Remus pulled a face, and Sirius laughed. "It won't be a problem," he reassured him. "I'll make sure of that."

Remus kissed him again. "Thank you," he whispered against Sirius' lips.

* * *

It was later in the night when Sirius finally made it to the boys' dormitory after exhausting another muggle newspaper of its real estate section. James was off celebrating with Lily, and Peter was snoring loudly in front of the common room fire, waiting for something he insisted on calling nothing.

Remus was wide-awake, reading.

He watched silently as the other boy quietly pulled off his shoes slipped off his shirt. Remus licked his lips as Sirius looked round at him and smiled tiredly.

"Are they all asleep?" he whispered.

Remus shook his head. "Not here," he answered huskily.

Sirius grinned that grin, and Remus closed his book, forgetting to mark his place as it fell to the floor with a dull thud. But all of Remus' thoughts of Elizabeth, Mr Darcy, and the lost page were all extinguished as Sirius crawled into his bed and began kissing his neck.

Heat engulfed the two lovers. There is heat between them, heat around them, within them. One tanned, damaged, muscular boy, and one smaller, scarred, strong boy. Both bodies slick with sweat, moving together to a rhythm known only to them.

Hands touching, sliding over tender flesh. Elbows and knees bumping awkwardly, unnoticed as hips grind together, sensually slow, ravenously rapid. Chests heaving, chins bumping between eager kisses and gasps for air. Teeth biting swollen lips, tongues engaged in fierce battles. Dark hair falling into half-lidded eyes. Sandy hair spread upon a crimson pillow. Moans of 'Remus', whispers of 'Sirius' punctuate the rustling of sheets.

One nip of the teeth, a gasp, a slide of a thumb, hands entangled in damp hair, urgent movements, breathy begging, pressing fingertips, needs met.

Entangled bodies and wet sheets in the morning.

* * *

**Note: **All of that "stuff" is directly dedicated to the lovely Carly. 


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, Mooney, have you seen my black sock?" 

"Who has my lucky quill?"

"Guys, I think I lost my shoe."

Remus sighed and turned around to the room, a pair of rolled socks in his hands. But just as he took a breath to begin berating his friends for leaving all their packing until last minute, he stopped.

It had been the same every year. As soon as exams would end, Remus would stop pleading with them to study and begin to coax them into packing early. Or at least picking their belongings up from the common room, dormitory, and, since James' induction into the Gryffindor Quidditch team, the changing rooms and broom shed. And every year, the other three boys would ignore his requests until the day of their imminent departure.

Why would this year be any different?

So Remus just watched what he had sometimes taken for granted.

He watched as Peter ripped the curtains off his four-poster as he tripped over his trunk, looking around his bed for his missing clothes. Watched as James pulled off all the sheets of his bed, then finally the top mattress, and gave a strangled cheer, picking up a ragged quill and doing a victory dance with it. Watched as Sirius gave up making sure what he put in his trunk was really his, and began throwing anything in the vicinity into it.

For the past six years, Remus would have stopped it. He would have made Peter relax, James stop being stupid, and Sirius slow down. But he didn't. Instead, with a small smile upon his lips, Remus turned back to his own trunk, placed his last pair of rolled socks with the other rolled socks, and closed the lid. He didn't look around, only listened as James pounced on Sirius shouting "That's my bloody lucky shirt, you bugger!" Listened as Sirius retorted, "You don't need luck now you've got –"

Remus didn't even look around when Peter managed to set his curtains on fire. He only shut the clasps on his trunk, letting the smallest of sighs pass his lips.

But then there was a soft, pale, freckled hand on his forearm, and Remus looked up at Lily.

She didn't say anything, only gave his arm a small squeeze, and then they both smiled sadly.

"Packed!" Sirius shouted, as James did the same, and everyone turned to look at Peter.

"I still can't find my bloody shoe."

"It might be in Padfoot's trunk," Remus supplied softly.

"Speaking of that," Sirius said before Peter could reply, "I probably have some of everyone's stuff, and if you want it back, then –" He paused and glared at them all, then reached in his pocket and drew out three slips of parchment. "Then you'll have to come by me and Mooney's –"

"Mooney and I's," Remus corrected automatically.

"– flat in London," Sirius continued happily, handing James, Peter, and Lily the parchment, "and have a drink."

Peter nodded, then threw the slip of parchment into his trunk and closed it. James, on the other hand, looked from the address, to Sirius, to Lily, to Remus, back to the writing, and then at Remus again, who blushed.

"Since when are you two having a flat together?" he asked in disbelief.

"Last week," Sirius answered calmly. "At least, that's when we decided. But it was only yesterday I got the confirmation it was ours."

"Together?"

Lily laughed. "Get used to it, James."

He shrugged. "At least you aren't two poofters moving in together," he commented, shoving the slip into his pocket where he would forget about it until Lily would find it later, emptying the pockets to throw it in to wash. For now, he simply checked his watch as the others shot each other knowing looks.

James didn't notice, as he announced, "The feast and party! Let's go!"

---

Remus stayed quiet for the whole ride back to London on the Hogwarts Express. In fact, the five of them were rather more subdued than other years. Maybe it was the meeting they had attended the previous night, or the fact that it was finally all over, but it had finally sunk in that their time as the Hogwarts Marauders were over. Now who were they? Marauders? Or did the Marauders die when they stepped into the Weasley's home for that Order of the Phoenix meeting?

Everything was changing, and Remus wasn't sure he was ready for it.

Sure, every month eh transformed into a werewolf, and every year there were new classes, and every day he changed his underwear, but now …

"It's all so real now."

Sirius and James looked at him, both frowning.

"What are you on about?" James asked.

Remus sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say it out loud."

"But you're right," Sirius breathed, hanging his head.

James looked at him, shock etched on his face. "Are you giving up?"

"No," he sighed, pushing the long dark hair form his eyes, "I'm just n – worried."

Remus knew he was nervous. He could see it in his eyes. He could see it in all of their eyes.

James looked between the two of them at a loss for words, so Remus went on.

"It's just –" he began, trying ot piece the words together. "It's just that the war – the war that we're all of a sudden fighting – isn't what I expected. Maybe I've been a bit naïve about the whole thing, but –"

"You're not going to quit, are you, Mooney?" James asked disbelievingly.

Remus shook his head. "I grew up in Compton."

Sirius looked up at him, his brows furrowed as James' were.

"I know it like the back of my hand," Remus went on, looking at his knees. "I grew up there. We lived in three different houses on three different streets in the years we lived there. It was where I was bitten, where I had all of my birthdays and Christmas' before Hogwarts." He looked up at them, trying to blink back the tears shining in his eyes and keep the sobs out of his voice. "It was my home."

Sirius began to reach across the compartment to comfort him, but Remus stood up before he could take hold.

"No, I'm sorry," he mumbled. "It's stupid – I'm stupid – this is – I'm just – sorry," he stuttered, and let himself out of the compartment before either of his best friends could say anything, comforting or otherwise.

As the door slid shut behind him, Sirius and James shared an anxious look in silence. Remus slid down the wall in the corridor, his head in his hands, exhaling shakily. As he shook with suppressed sobs, Lily came down the train towards him from the loo.

"Remus?" she inquired timidly, speeding up slightly, but when he didn't answer and it was clearly Remus Lupin, she jogged up to him. "Remus?" she asked, stronger and with a worried note in her voice.

He looked up at her then, the tears finally breaking through his hold on them.

Her eyes filled with sadness as she wrapped her arms around him, and he around her.

"Oh, Remus," she sighed, holding him awkwardly on the floor as he cried silently on her shoulder after the loss of his parents and his memories of Compton.

---

---

So sorry for the long wait again, everyone. The next one will be quicker, I promise!


	8. Chapter 8

James' parents were not there when they stepped off the Hogwarts Express.

"Must have got tied up in traffic or something," James said nonchalantly, leading them through the barrier into King's Cross. "I mean, it is June and all."

Lily and Remus dragged behind, hearts heavy.

"My parents aren't here either," Lily said softly as they stopped in the middle of the station, their odd luggage of owls drawing attention. "Not even Petunia. They at least send Petunia."

"Isn't that her?" Remus asked, nodding towards a young horse-faced woman. She was striding towards them, tears and anger in her eyes.

"Petunia!"

But her sister ignored her greeting and open arms. It was not unusual. But the slap that followed was.

"Oi! What are you doing?" James shouted as he leaped forwards to pull Petunia back.

"You filthy freak," she hissed. "It's all your fault!"

Lily was taken aback. Remus clasped her shoulder tightly as her breathing became shallow.

"My fault?" she asked shakily.

"If you weren't – if you hadn't – they wouldn't be –!"

Lily gasped, her eyes widening. "No," she breathed.

"Yes," Petunia sobbed, and both sisters sank to the floor.

Lily put her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking. James was at her side in a moment, holding her against him as she sobbed into his chest.

---

"Mum! Dad!" James shouted into the house as they entered. No one replied, and the three boys dropped their trunks in the hall.

"Must be out for groceries," Sirius suggested. "Or pies."

Remus shook his head, trying to smile as he sank into a kitchen chair.

"Not for groceries," James said slowly, opening the fridge and finding it full.

"Pies," Sirius pressed. But James was not swayed.

"This is so odd."

Remus remained silent.

"Maybe they're having a little something-something in the bedroom," Sirius winked.

James was up the stairs in seconds.

Remus and Sirius only looked at each other as they heard James' foot steps wander from room to room above them. And then a thud.

Sirius quirked his eyebrow.

"Investigate," he whispered, pulling Remus to his feet.

They thundered up the stairs, checking every bedroom along the way. They stopped at the master.

Sirius stood stock still in front of Remus, who had to push him away to see into the room.

Mr and Mrs Potter were lying in bed, still, looking asleep. James was kneeled at his mother's side of the bed as though in prayer. But there were tears in his eyes, and only his shaky breathing filled the room.

"Dad took all of June off from work," James whispered later as they were sprawled on the lonely couch in Sirius and Remus' flat. "No one had heard from him, but no one was really worried. Mum didn't write back. I assumed –"

He shook his head.

Sirius stared blankly at the ceiling.

---

"This is stupid."

Sirius threw the trousers out of the window.

Remus pulled another pair out of the wardrobe.

"This absolutely fucking stupid. All of it. Fuck."

"Put on these trousers."

"All of them. All of this. All of – fuck."

Remus did not respond. He pulled on his shoes.

"Fucking, bloody – damn it all anyways."

He tied his laces carefully, just the way his parents had showed him.

"Say something, fuck," snapped Sirius. "You can't just sit there all quiet, like, and just – fuck."

"Stop cursing, please."

Sirius glared at him.

"Stop cursing? Fuck, Mooney, what the hell am I supposed to do? Pray? Be religious? What the fuck do you think this is? A black party?"

Neither could laugh at the pun. Neither could look at each other.

"It's not a joke to me either," Remus said softly, tucking in his shirt. "But honestly, Sirius, there's respect to be –"

"Fuck off, Lupin."

"Listen, I just –"

"And I said fuck off!" Sirius roared, turning around and pushing Remus into the wall. "I know it's not a fucking joke, I know I should have some fucking respect for the dead, but I can't help that it's this fucking unfair! They were like my parents! They loved me when my parents didn't! And now they're fucking gone!"

"And how do you think I feel?" Remus snarled, just as angry. "I lost my entire life. Everyone I grew up with before school with you. My entire family. I'm the last fucking Lupin, all right? Take that with some fucking salt before you fucking go and fucking slam me against the fucking wall."

Sirius let go of him.

Remus straightened his shirt.

"Tuck in your shirt."

Sirius obliged silently.

"I'm sorry," he said sulkily, looking at his shoes.

"So am I," Remus snapped. "So is everyone."

It was Sirius turn to stay quiet.

"I don't want to hear one more 'I'm sorry' or I'm going to snap."

Sirius nodded.

Remus sank to the floor.

"Fuck this, all happening at once. Fuck the fates."

"Fuck it all," Sirius agreed quietly.

---

"I don't know half the people here," James whispered to Peter.

"Neither do I."

They stared across the funeral home at all the sad faces.

"Would any one notice if I just left?"

"Probably."

James nodded. "Yeah, I suppose."

"I'm all for drowning my sorrows in some hard liquor tonight," Sirius whispered behind the two other boys.

"You can do it on your own," James said softly. "I can't do that tonight."

Sirius shrugged. "Suit yourself. Pete?"

Peter shook his head. "I have a thing."

Sirius sighed. "Well bugger you two. Bugger all four of you. I'll just get pissed on my own and –"

"That's it," Remus hissed, marching up them. "A stranger just said they were sorry. I'm leaving now. Who's coming with me?"

"My parents were muggles!" Lily shouted on the other side of the room. "You didn't know them! You probably don't even know the Potters! Why are you here?"

"Good time as any," James and Sirius said, leading the way to Lily.

"We're going now," James told her as she turned, fuming, away from a ministry official. "Would you like to come with us?"

"All of you?"

Peter, Sirius, and Remus nodded. "We've had enough," Sirius said darkly.

Lily sighed. "Thank goodness. Let's go."

---

"Death sucks."

"Here, here."

James and Sirius clinked glasses.

Remus, Lily, and Petunia sat silent on the couch.

As James and Sirius poured more shots, Lily took the bottle from them.

"Here, here," she muttered darkly, and took a swig. She offered it to Petunia.

Petunia took it and did the same.

---

---

So. Me updating clearly means that Carly has to as well. And the next update will occur in the indefinate future, as I'm starting University in a week (go wesmen! woot!) and I don't have enough typed up after this to warrant a post. Alas. Until my next update, enjoy!


	9. Chapter 9

Sirius and Remus did not unpack for a week. They lived out of the boxes. Lived out of the plastic grocery bags Remus came home with. Nothing was cooked. It was sandwiches day after day for every meal. Neither would say more than two words to each other, but every night they would lie on the couch together. Not even a kiss was shared for that week. James and Lily stopped in every day to sit. Peter brought pie on Wednesday. He was the only one who had not lost a relative. The rest of them were either left with the worst bit of their family or nothing at all.

Remus felt he lost his childhood.

He wanted desperately to visit the rubble. Perhaps that would sooth his pain. Perhaps to touch the headstones of his childhood friends, of his grandparents, aunts, and uncles, would ease the heartache.

Sirius thought it was a bad idea. He would not go.

Lily did not want any of them at her parent's funeral. It would be immediate family only. The only time she had broken down and cried was when she first heard the news. Remus and James were worried that she had not cried since. She came back from the service dry eyed, almost smiling. She cooked a meal then, that Friday, and still did not cry. She went grocery shopping with Remus Saturday. She broke down in the personal product aisle. Remus held her on the floor in the midst of anti-perspirant and toothpaste as she sobbed. She cried for fifteen minutes. He did not try to move her. When she walked in the door of the flat and saw James, she did it again. She shook for over an hour then.

After that, James woke up to a wet pillow. He would not tell Lily why it was wet. Claimed for the three days after it happened that it was just drool.

Remus shook in his sleep, his back to Sirius.

Sirius sliced a lot of onions.

-----

"Remus, I'm bored."

"Sirius, I'm reading," Remus replied calmly, amusement in his voice, his eyes never leaving the page.

"I think we should shag."

"I think not."

"Let's go to the park."

"Oh, you're six again, are you?"

Sirius shot him an icy glare. Remus did not look up to receive it.

"I need to get out of this flat."

"I want to finish this book."

Something shone in Sirius' eyes. If Remus had glanced up he would have put a stop to it.

"Mooney, do you hate me?" he asked slyly.

"No."

"Do you want to shag now?"

"No."

"Will you come to the park with me?"

"No."

"Can you stop reading for two seconds?"

"No."

"Will you get mad if I go off and shag another bloke?"

"Yes!" Remus shouted, standing up and flailing the book in Sirius' face. "He finally told her! God! Two hundred pages later –"

He trailed off and Sirius sulked.

"Walk?" Remus asked lightly, marking his place.

Sirius was at the door, grinning like an idiot, before Remus had his shoes on.

-----

"I think I'll write a book."

They had not found the park, it was beginning to grow dark, and neither man had said anything remotely interesting for the last half hour.

"A book?"

"Yes."

"Like one in the library?"

"Well, I would rather it be in a bookstore first so as the public can have the opportunity to –"

"What?"

"I want people to buy it."

"Oh."

"Yes."

"Would it be about me or you?"

"Probably both, but with different names, and definitely as heterosexuals."

"You'll be the woman, won't you?"

"Shut up, Sirius."

Sirius only grinned.

"I mean," Remus continued, "a book is really a deep expression of … whatever. And I know you think I'm too deep, and believe it or not, I think you're deep, but I mean, maybe if I wrote a book I'd be a little less deep, or at least able to open up a bit more."

"Mmm," Sirius said wisely.

"There's just so much to write about, I would want all these characters, and all of them would have to interact in some way, and have feelings, thoughts, emotions, background stories, –"

"It would be a book about feelings?"

"Not only feelings," Remus countered, "just most of them. I mean, no one can go around having no feeling or emotion or thoughts."

"So … feelings and thoughts."

"What's wrong with thoughts?"

"Everything is wrong with thoughts."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Well unfortunately, I have thoughts, and that's one of the reasons I want to write a book."

"Why can't you just say them?"

He hesitated. "It's – it's not that easy."

"Sure it is."

"I can't."

"Try," Sirius pressed.

Remus lapsed into a silence.

"Stop thinking thoughts and say them."

"What if we died," he burst out. "What if we don't wake up one day? Or wake up and realize we've wasted all this time? Or that there was something else, something different, something better? Or what if this is all we'll ever have? I don't want to go out of this world wondering if someone wasn't the way I thought they were, or not done something I wanted to do with them." Remus' voice grew in volume and speed. "And I don't want it all to end in a question mark. A big, fat, ugly question mark. I want it to end with an exclamation mark. Lots of them! I want the air to be filled the uncanny sense of exclamation marks! _(see note at end)_ No questions asked."

"What are you trying to get at here?"

"I love you," he revealed quickly.

They had stopped in front of the park. Sirius was smiling and Remus was looking as flustered as only Remus could.

"Good."

"Good?"

"I love you, too."

"Good."

"No question marks?"

"None."

"We should go home."

"But what about the park?"

Sirius smirked. "My exclamation mark issue shouldn't be resolved in the park."

It took them only minutes to run home and lock the door to their flat before falling on the mattress in a sweaty heap.

-----

-----

_If you don't recognize this reference to the Shoebox Project on LiveJournal, you need to read it. Now. Today._

-----

So. I'm horribly sorry for the very long wait. Hopefully this made up for it. xoxo


	10. Chapter 10

"Maybe I should go to a muggle college or something," Remus said a few months later as they lay in bed together, his head on Sirius' chest.

"What about your book?" Sirius asked.

"I'd still be able to work on it. But I could take classes or – wait. No, I can't go now. Never mind."

Sirius lifted his head and looked at Remus whose eyes were closed, a frown across both of their faces. "Why can't you go?"

"Money."

"Shut up. I'll pay for it."

Remus opened an eye and looked at him reproachfully. "No you aren't," he said simply. "You've already bought the flat and food and everything. Besides," he added, turning to lay his head next to Sirius', "I thought you were cut off."

"Oi! Anyone home?"

"Shit," Remus breathed, and Sirius jumped up, reaching for his trousers.

"Hello?" James called, his voice closer.

"Wait! I'll be out in a minute, Prongs," Sirius shouted, eyeing Remus' frantic shushing movements confusedly.

"Why are you in Mooney's room?"

Sirius' eyes grew wide as Remus threw him a nasty look and a wrinkled shirt as James opened the door.

"I mean, is his bed more –" he began comically, but stopped quickly as he eyes fell on the scene in front of him.

Sirius stood, speechless, his boxers pulled on sloppily and hanging out of his hastily pulled on jeans, which were undone, holding his t-shirt. Remus still sat in the bed, reaching for his own trousers when he saw James.

"Hullo, James," he said lamely, pulling the covers around him more securely.

"Er –"

"I, uh, we –" Sirius attempted.

"Wait," James said slowly. "Is this what it looks like?"

"Well, it isn't as simple as –"

"Oh my god," he said quickly, turning his back to them as he realized what he was looking at.

"We're not doing anything," Sirius scoffed.

"Now," Remus added softly.

"That's disgusting," James said. "I mean," he continued uncomfortably, "it's okay if you two are – well – but –"

Sirius and Remus looked at each other, both lost for words.

"Can I look?"

"We haven't moved," Sirius said, but James turned anyway.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Within reason," Remus responded.

James took a breath. "How long?"

"What?"

"Have you two –?"

"We just finished, so about –"

"No!" James shouted, cutting Sirius off. "How long have you two been together?"

"A year," Remus said softly, avoiding James' eyes. "Maybe more. Almost two."

"And a half," Sirius added.

"Oh my god."

"We were going to tell you," Remus continued. "We didn't want you to find out like this."

"Right. Good."

Silence filled the small room and none of the men moved or looked at each other.

"Right. Good," James said again.

"Good," Sirius repeated.

"I'm the last to know, aren't I?"

"Sorry, mate."

"The other two found out by accident," Remus added.

"Right. Good. Sorry I interrupted, mates," James said, turning to leave. Sirius jerked into life and finished dressing himself as Remus spoke.

"What brought you here anyhow?"

"Oh, right." James turned back to them all, the light gone from his features. He suddenly seemed much older than nineteen. "There's been another attack, this time in Kent. A couple Order members were targeted and Dumbledore is calling a meeting tonight at Hogwarts."

"There's more, isn't there?" Sirius asked quietly.

James stepped into the room, closing the door behind him and leaning on it.

"There's a prophesy."

"Concerning –?" Remus prompted.

"Lily. Me." He swallowed thickly, closing his eyes. "Our child."

"And?"

"And him."

"Him?"

"No."

James nodded at Sirius as comprehension dawned on Remus' face.

"Who told you?" Remus breathed.

"Dumbledore, or course," James answered softly. "He wouldn't tell me anymore, though, just that I was to tell Lily and no one else."

"I'm glad you did just that," Sirius remarked, and James grinned.

"I wouldn't be able to keep anything like this from you two," he laughed. "Oh, and Lily's pregnant."

---

Remus left that day to surprise Lily at her job at St Mungo's to congratulate her. She was beaming, and she kept beaming for weeks. Remus applied at one of the nearby universities, and Sirius and James jumped headlong into work. They figured that the more money they could make while Lily was pregnant the more money they would have to spend on the tyke and the more they would have to spend with him or her. Rumours began spreading about Lily's pregnancy and the fact that she and James were holding off on their wedding date until the little one entered the world, but it didn't bother Lily. Those who knew her well knew that all she wanted was the baby to be healthy, and if she got that wish she would be happy and it wouldn't matter if she was married or not. She felt the baby kick for the first time at six months. James took the day off and they went to the doctor to find out the sex of the baby. After that, James insisted he paint the nursery pink.

But at the beginning of December, her eighth month, Lily called Remus while James was at work.

"She hasn't kicked today," she said, and hung up, tears streaming down her face. Remus flooed over immediately and tried to reassure her, but Lily would not have any of it. He took her to the hospital, and she had an ultrasound. She would not tell Remus the results. She stayed in the doctor's room until James arrived looking panicked and pale. Remus went home.

Sirius made Remus dinner as he was home early for the first time in a month, but neither really enjoyed it. They were too anxious to hear of the news about Lily and her baby.

James knocked weakly on the door late that night, and waited until someone answered it. When Remus pulled it open, he had to look down to find James crouched on the step.

"We lost her," he whispered, and Remus pulled him up. It was evident James had been crying for hours, and he still was. Sirius tried to help Remus drag James to the couch, but James resisted.

"No, I have to go back to Lily."

"You lost the baby?" Sirius whispered, and James nodded.

"I'm going home now. Don't come till morning."

Both men nodded, and James apparated away. Remus closed the door, and Sirius went into the kitchen and started pulling out cookbooks.

"I'm going to bake," he announced, throwing around bowls and ingredients. "I'm going to bake cookies and muffins for Lily so that she feels better. And you can help me if you want, but I don't want to. Maybe you can –"

"I'm going for a walk," Remus interrupted, and left before Sirius could say anything more. Remus walked down to the corner store and picked up five bars of the nicest chocolate the muggles had to offer. Then he went to the park, sat on a swing, and ate two of them before walking down to the nearest pub and taking some shots: one for the baby, one for James, and one for Lily. He toasted the three of them, gave the bartender a hefty tip, and walked home. Sirius had given up his baking and was lying awake in their bed, staring at the ceiling. As Remus lay down next to him, Sirius spoke.

"I'm glad you don't have a uterus."

Remus couldn't bring himself to smile.

Lily was in turmoil the next morning, even after Sirius had told her he tried to bake to cheer her up and Remus had handed her the chocolate bars. She only looked at them sadly, and barely shared two words. But Remus sat with her all day as Sirius sat with James. The men made sandwiches silently, and Lily cried silently, her hand on her abdomen. She took a lot of time off work. They skipped Remus' birthday. They skipped James'. They didn't exchange presents at Christmas, but Remus still decorated both their places and made Christmas dinner.

Lily apologized New Year's Eve.

"I'm sorry we skipped Christmas, guys," she said quietly. "I didn't mean for this to happen or anything. Skipping Christmas. And the baby." Her eyes filled up with tears again, but she pushed them back. "I'm going to stop crying. It's my New Year's resolution. I've mourned for a month. I've done my share of crying. I'm going to stop, and I'm going to go back to work, and avoid the maternity wards, and work and not cry and move on." She looked at James. "We're going to move on."

"Let's get married."

"Not that fast."

"November."

"Okay. November. We'll get married in November, we'll have moved on, and we'll be happy. We'll all be happy again."

"Cheers, Lily," Remus smiled, and she smiled back. They clinked wine glasses as the clock chimed midnight.


	11. Chapter 11

The months passed, and Lily was true to her word. She went back to work and smiled more. James did the same, and Sirius was finally able to have his best friend back. Remus began writing a book amid his second term of University. Sirius delved into the depths of the ministry, particularly with the aurors. Both of them became more involved with the Order. Sirius did not know, but while he was off at the ministry fighting the bad guys and tracking them down, Remus had numerous meetings and training sessions with Dumbledore. It was all to be kept a secret until Remus came back with news for the Order. He was to be one hundred percent involved with his task before Sirius or anyone else in the Order found out. The only other person who knew of Remus' task was Lily, and only because she had posed the possibility of Voldemort turning to the werewolf community for supporters. She had done the research and found several of their underground meeting places. She had found one that Dumbledore had not, and for that he involved her in Remus' mission. But the three of them had agreed to keep it from the others until they knew that Remus could penetrate the thick security the underground werewolf community had erected. Remus had been an outcast from the werewolf community for too long – it was possible that there was no chance for Remus to rejoin them – he may have become too wizardized. But they were willing to give it a shot: to risk Remus' dignity and respect. Remus quit school to give one hundred percent of his energy and time to the tasks.

When Sirius would ask why Remus had not written anything, Remus would tell him he had writer's block, that it took a while to organize his thoughts, that he needed to rethink some things.

Remus never worried about Sirius or his work, although Lily worried about James. Both Sirius and James had moved up the auror chain faster than most with the help of their heredity, Dumbledore, and their talent in the field of "fighting bad guys." Remus didn't worry. Sirius didn't worry about him, and what he was doing was illegal and much more risky than Sirius' job. Sirius had a back up with him when he went out into the field. He sometimes had more than one back up. But when Remus went out to find the werewolves, he went alone. He had no back up. Dumbledore waited at Hogwarts for word from him. Lily attended her patients in St Mungo's, hoping that she had given him the right directions. Hoping that the phase of the moon would benefit him. Remus was always home before Sirius. He usually had some sort of dinner on the table for him. Sirius usually wasn't late. If he was, Remus never noticed. Until one evening, when the crescent moon was high and Lily had called to say James was home, but didn't know anything about Sirius.

When he walked in, Remus was pacing in front of the fireplace, using the poker as a cane (he had bruised his leg quite badly after a werewolf follower of Voldemort's discovered him and Remus had to run for his life).

As the door opened, Remus turned, and Sirius looked between him and the cane oddly.

"Where have you been?" Remus asked, pushing the worry in his voice back.

"What happened to your leg?" Sirius retorted, closing the door and shrugging off his cloak.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Remus continued, brandishing the poker like a sword toward the other man.

"I'm later than usual," Sirius apologized, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry. Something came up at work."

As Remus lowered the poker and leant on it, Sirius turned from him and switched on the light to the kitchen.

"What happened to your leg?" he asked again.

"What happened at work?" Remus asked over top of him, limping into the kitchen after him.

Sirius turned to him, a stern expression on his face. "Tell me what happened to your leg."

"I fell," Remus said truthfully, sitting down. He had fallen – over a table and with another man clamped to his leg, a knife in the other hand.

"At a bar?"

"Excuse me?" Remus choked, looking outraged, even though it was true.

Sirius sat across from him. "What are you doing with the werewolves, Mooney?"

"Why would I have anything to –?"

"Because that's why I'm late."

Remus looked up at him.

"We were called to a bar over a disturbance, and with all the death eater activity lately we have to put werewolves higher on our priority list. It was in uproar. We arrested three werewolves, and two of them had the dark mark. One of them kept going on about a traitor, and I only know one of those," he added with a small smile.

"It wasn't me," Remus breathed.

"I didn't think it would be," Sirius said. "How's your writing?"

---

In April, Sirius discovered the truth, along with the rest of the Order.

"Greyback has joined Voldemort's side," Remus announced at the meeting after Easter. "I would say Voldemort has a fair number of werewolves following him, and now that he's got Greyback, Greyback will do everything in his power to get more on their side. The only problem with this is that Greyback is just as power hungry as Voldemort is. If they come to heads there will be no stopping them, and Voldemort knows this. Greyback knows this."

Silence followed his speech, and Sirius refused to meet Remus' gaze.

"So what do we do?" someone asked.

"Can we do anything?"

"We have to be prepared," Remus carried on. "I'm going to need someone to cover me during the days while I go undercover."

"I think Tonks is the best person for that."

"Even though I'm clumsy as hell?"

"As long as you can save my ass and not get bitten in the meantime, I'll take you," Remus said.

"That sounds fantastic," Sirius piped up.

"Now that that's settled," Dumbledore interjected, "there was more activity in –"

---

"You lied to me?" Sirius demanded as they entered their flat.

"I didn't think it was important for you to know until Dumbledore and I knew it was all going to be worth it."

"You could have told me!"

Remus turned to look at him coldly. "Why? So you could be worried? So you could try and get yourself involved? I didn't need you to know. The rest of the Order didn't know, so I didn't feel telling you would make a difference."

"You think I'm trying to steal your thunder?" Sirius asked indignantly.

"I didn't want you to get involved because I don't want you bitten if any of them find out who you really are and –"

"But you'll take Tonks?"

"She has better disguises –"

"So of course she's better suited for the job! Choose a family member of mine over me! Thanks for that."

"Sirius, would you stop being an idiot?" Remus called after him as Sirius stormed towards their room.

"Why? I'm obviously too much of an idiot to handle covering your ass when you take on the other werewolves."

"You don't understand what they're like!"

"I understand you, don't I? Or at least," he added snidely, "I thought I did."

"I don't want to be responsible for your goddamn death, alright?" Remus called after him angrily. "We've had tons of close calls when I've almost bitten you, and each time I want to kill myself for almost putting you through that. If I put you in any danger regarding my vicious kind, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"But you aren't vicious," Sirius said softly.

"They are," Remus intoned. "Please, Sirius, I just wanted you to be safe. I'm the only one suited for the job. And you have enough on your plate with work, never mind the work you do with the Order."

"Don't you have work, too?" Sirius asked, and his voice held suspicion. "What happened to the classes you were taking?"

"I dropped them. I dropped out. I wanted to do this."

"And that's the truth?"

"Do I ever sugar coat the truth?"

Sirius smiled. "I suppose not. But Remus –"

"But nothing. I'm finally of use to someone. Please don't take this away from me, and don't worry."

"I'll try not to."

"Good."

"Would you like to come to bed now?"

Remus looked away. "I – I told Dumbledore I would go there tonight. The full moon is tomorrow night, and –"

"Will I see you in the morning?"

"I don't know," Remus said truthfully.

"Is this going to be the norm?"

Remus sighed. "I don't know. See you later."

"Love you."

"Love you, too," he said, and Sirius watched the door close behind Remus.


	12. Chapter 12

And so time passed. Remus continued his work as a spy, Lily was promoted, and Sirius and James earned fame with their work. James and Lily set the actual date for their wedding, Remus jumped in to help Lily plan it, and they planned it quickly.

"_Hey, Remus, are you busy today?"_

"_I can cancel anything for you, Lily," Remus said from his desk. "What do you need me for?"_

"_James is busy with work, but I need to find flowers today and have them ordered by tomorrow if they're going to be here for the wedding," she said quickly, and as Remus looked at her with confusion he could see the tension painted across her features._

"_Lily, why don't you just use magic?"_

_She looked out of the fireplace at him, dumbstruck. "But Remus," she argued, finding her voice, "I won't be composed enough for that on my wedding day!"_

"_Then I'll magic them up for you," Remus said calmly. "Find me exactly what you want and I'll do it for you."_

"_Really?"_

_Remus nodded, and watched as relief spread across her face._

"_You're a lifesaver, Remus," she sighed._

"_I try," he replied happily. "Do you need help with anything else?"_

"_Chicken or beef?"_

"_Chicken."_

"_Should we sign it during or after?"_

"_After, definitely."_

"_Why?"_

_Remus grinned. "James is going to want you alone before the reception."_

_Lily laughed. "Right. An excuse. Good idea."_

"_I'm full of them."_

By the beginning of August, Lily had her dress picked out and fitted, the flowers ordered, the menu finalized and a guest list made up. Remus thought it was finished. He went back to researching the Underground Werewolf Organization. There was nothing to worry about until closer to the day. Lily's best friend and co-worker, Carly, was to be Lily's maid of honour and had stepped in for Remus where planning and midnight panic attacks were concerned. Sirius would be James' best friend, Remus would make sure the day ran smoothly and then run the guest book. Peter volunteered to do the centrepieces.

But the first of September brought an attack very close to home for them all. Hogwarts was penetrated by a Death Eater during the first feast of the year. Three children died in the fight and rush of people. One of them was Carly's daughter, and she vowed revenge. She never got it, though. One of the Death Eaters posed as a parent to one of the deceased children and called on Carly one night.

When Lily flooed her later that night after she got off work and was worried about her, she found her on the floor where the Death Eater left her. Lily broke down. James had to track her down three hours later. Carly's death hit her hard, but –

"They went too far," James said at the next Auror meeting. "They're turning vicious now. They're personal attacks, and filled with hatred. It's not just about Voldemort's power, it's about their individual powers as well."

"It's going to get worse," Moody pointed out. "And we knew that it would be getting worse as it went on. It's also going to take a hall of a lot more effort to stall them in their attempts."

"Aren't we trying to stop them?" someone asked.

Moody bowed his head. "Stopping them now is impossible. We have to slow them. Take them down. It's not a light switch effect anymore."

"They're going to get closer to home, aren't they?" Sirius asked quietly, and Moody nodded.

"It's going to get a lot closer, and we are going to lose some of us."

"Please tell me there's a 'but' at the end of that statement," a trainee pleaded.

"There's not," Moody sighed. "And this is no excuse to give up. It's an excuse to fight harder. Now you all know your assignments. Get on them."

---

The funeral was held the day of the Auror meeting. The day after, Lily flooed Remus in a panic.

"You aren't going out anywhere today, are you?" she asked hurriedly, her forehead creased with worry.

"I don't have to," Remus said, setting his cup of tea down. "Why? Are you okay?"

"We never got the invitations out," Lily said, tears flooding her eyes. "We never even made them. All we – I – have are the names. Remus, what am I going to do?"

"I'll help you, Lily," Remus smiled. "I'll come over right now and we'll do them and it will be fine."

"Really?"

Remus laughed. "I will if you let me use my fireplace."

And Lily smiled smally, disappearing in the flames.

---

There were more attacks. James worked overtime. Lily had to bring a tailor to his work so his tuxedo could be fitted. She did the same for Sirius. The tailors measured them both, deafened by a spell Lily had cast, as Remus and Sirius both read out reports for their quills about the deaths, the movements of the death eaters, the supposed next targets.

Remus told Dumbledore he would have to put the werewolf research on hold until after the wedding. Dumbledore was fine with it, and told him he would be attending the wedding and was excited.

When Remus told the others Dumbledore was excited for something they rolled around laughing for what seemed like hours. But it had only been five minutes. The four of them only had time for five minutes together every couple of days. Remus grew tired of staying awake for Sirius to come home. Sometimes Sirius would not come home. James only dropped in at home to kiss Lily good night and tell her not to worry, that there was just a lot of paper work to be done.

Both Lily and Remus could not wait for the wedding, if only to see their significant others again.

October blossomed quickly. Much too quickly for Lily. She broke down one night on Remus' shoulder, saying maybe James was with another woman, that he was not really working, and that he just did not love her anymore.

And then James came home and saw her crying and he cried too. He told her he really was at work, that he wished he could get away, that he sneaks away every night to see her for only a few moments on the pretence of going to the loo. She cried even more then, because he said he had to get back.

Remus took action. He booked a hotel close to the church where the wedding would be, booked her a full spa treatment for the morning of the wedding, and asked Lily's coworkers to take her out on the town. And then he rounded up the marauders and some of their other close male friends and they went out for James' stag party, which was ironic, as Sirius pointed out after the tenth round of shots. Remus kissed him to keep him quiet. That kiss led them both back home. James spent the night at home without Lily, who was taken to the hotel – the girls decided the two lovebirds would honour the old twenty-four hour tradition muggles had. Lily thought it was hilarious. She passed out immediately after hitting the pillow.

Remus took it upon himself, the next morning, to give Lily a hangover potion. When he arrived back, James was pacing the living room, nursing his own potion. Remus took the last one as he prepared to wake Sirius.

"Sirius," he said loudly, and Sirius pulled the pillow around his head. "Sirius," he repeated, louder, "you have to get up. It's the wedding today."

Sirius ignored him, and Remus sighed.

"You have to get up. James needs you."

"You can help him," Sirius moaned from the bed. Remus stood at the door, glaring at him.

"You are his best man. Today is the day you're supposed to shine."

"No shining. Just sleeping. You shine."

"I'm helping Lily."

"Help James instead."

"_You_ help James," Remus said loudly, abandoning his good-cop façade. "I don't care if you have a hangover. I don't care that I drank the last potion that could have helped you. I don't care that you don't care today. You are getting up and going out to the living room where James is pacing, and being an idiot, and you are going to try to calm him down and get him dressed and down to the church."

"I can hear you!" James called from the kitchen.

"Why do you have to go and help Lily?"

"Because she'll go crazy if someone sane isn't there," Remus answered calmly, opening the window and pulling the covers off his boyfriend. "I have to do the flowers, candles, reception, check on the food, and then I might even have to – no. It doesn't matter. I have my hands full and I don't have time to be babysitting you and James. I've put on a strong pot of coffee. That should get you going until the adrenaline kicks in."

"James can wash his own hair."

"If you don't get up," Remus threatened, "there won't be any shagging for a week."

"I don't need to hear that!" James shouted from the bathroom.

"You're not serious," Sirius said, opening one eye and looking at Remus.

"I'm not?" he asked seriously, and the other man paled slightly.

"I'm up," he said quickly, and sat up, reaching for a shirt.

"Good. I'm off." He left the bedroom, pausing to slap James on the back with a smile of good luck. "See you at the wedding!" he called as he stepped into the fireplace.


	13. Chapter 13

"Remus, the cake isn't here yet," Lily said immediately as he stepped into her hotel room. "The cake isn't here yet and the people setting up the reception aren't setting it up, and the marriage people aren't here, and my dad can't walk me down the aisle."

Remus wrapped her in a tight hug as tears filled her eyes. "No crying today," he said softly, and she nodded against his shoulder. "Have you had your massage yet this morning?" he asked, and she shook her head. He let her go and she wiped her eyes, pulling her bathrobe around her more tightly as she laughed lightly.

"I'm being stupid, aren't I?"

Remus nodded, smiling. "Would you like me to take you down to the spa?"

"If you must, Mr Lupin," she grinned, and he offered her his arm.

They both laughed as they took the elevator down to the main floor of the hotel. Lily blushed at the state of her dress – the bathrobe and slippers supplied by the hotel – and laughed at Remus' attempts at treating her like a princess.

---

"Evans," Lily told the receptionist at the spa as they entered. The receptionist looked at her book of appointments and frowned.

"I'm sorry, there's no Evans booked –"

"Try Potter," Remus grinned, and as Lily shot him a pointed look and the receptionist looked again. She smiled.

"Right this way, Mrs Potter," the girl said, and led Lily away. As soon as they were out of sight, Remus opened his wallet and paid for the massage, manicure, pedicure, hair, makeup, and a cocktail or two. The gift from the Marauders to Lily. Only she didn't know.

"How long will she be?" he asked the girl as she came back and he handed her the money.

She shrugged, replying, "At least three hours. What time is the wedding?"

"Three, so that's plenty of time," he said. "Thanks, Melindi."

"No problem, Remus. It's good to see you again. We should do coffee sometime. It's been ages since I've seen you!"

"We should. Not today, though," he grinned, and she blushed. "Is there time I can drop by and visit her?"

"In about an hour and a half she'll be robed and getting the mani' and pedi'. You can see her then."

"Fantastic."

He smiled as he took the elevator up to the banquet hall. It would be much to Sirius' dismay that Remus did not come off as queer as Sirius thought he did. Fortunately, jealousy was never an issue between the two. They would always be marauders before lovers.

Remus' thoughts were interrupted, however, as he stepped into the banquet hall. Only one table was set up in the centre of the room, and the men Remus and Lily had hired to assist in setting up the room sat around the table playing cards and smoking.

"What is going on in here?"

They looked up in unison and Remus frowned.

"I'm paying you to set up this room, am I not?"

"Dude, the reception isn't for six hours!"

"Do I need to bring Bride-zilla up here to make you work?"

"We won't start til noon, man."

"Then you can leave," Remus said shortly, "and you will not be paid for your time and I don't want you back."

The men shrugged and stood up, butting out their cigarettes and leaving the ashtray and cards on the table. A couple of them leered at him as they passed, but Remus appeared impassive and no one argued to stay. As the last man left, Remus closed the door and looked at the room at large, wrinkling his nose and drawing out his wand.

He left the room an hour later, partly satisfied and on the hunt for cutlery.

"So, can I see that bride to be now?"

Melindi smiled at him. "Of course, Rem. Just this way."

She led him to the back, and Remus was glad to see Lily smiling as she chatted away to the aesthetician. With a martini in her hand, she grinned as she looked up to see Remus standing there.

"It's such a posh title," Remus said.

"Much more posh than 'life saver'," Lily agreed.

They all laughed.

"Oh, how is the reception set-up?"

"I just need more cutlery and make sure the bar is stocked," Remus replied. "But I want to start the flowers at noon, and if you can check it before it's finalized that'll be great."

"What about the food?"

"When I leave you here I'll go check on it." Remus grinned. "Stop worrying. I have it all under control."

"Will you check on my dress?" she asked anxiously after a moment.

Remus nodded, smiling. "I'll go right now, Lils. If there's anything wrong I will report it to you immediately."

"Liar."

He laughed. "You have us all figured out, don't you?"

"Have had for years," she laughed. And as Remus left her, he could hear her say to the aesthetician, "I told you he was a life saver."

As Remus let himself into the hotel room, he found a very sour surprise waiting for him.

"Sirius! Why aren't you with James?"

"Because he's taking a piss and having a shower and Wormtail says he can't make it."

"Make what? The centerpieces? And he's telling us today?"

"No!" Sirius shouted, standing up from the bed. "The wedding! He says something's come up and he can't make it! He can't be here at all!"

"How did you find out? Was he by?"

Sirius growled. "No. The rat sent an owl. An owl for chrissake!"

"Go back to James," Remus ordered. "Go back to James and I will take care of everything."

"Fine," Sirius huffed. "See you later."

As he flooed back to their flat, Remus turned and looked at the dress. It was still there, ivory, embroidered, and perfect, and he was about to leave when he noticed the veil.

"What kind of man or honour would I be if I didn't think of everything?" he commented to Melindi as he hander her Lily's veil to install.

"You've done good, Rem," she laughed. "And I can't wait to see you in a tux."

"If you see me," he retorted coyly, winking at her as he left to check in with the kitchen staff.

---

"Remus, I'm bored. And nervous," Lily complained as he stepped back into the hotel room at one o'clock. She sat on the bed, still in bathrobe and slippers, with her makeup done and her hair in place.

"Come to the church and check the flowers," he said, and she stood up instantly, smiling.

They ran across the street, and as Lily stepped into the aisle she gasped.

"Remus, it's beautiful," she breathed, and they walked together slowly down the aisle, Lily turning around with her mouth wide in awe at all the flowers.

"Is it okay that they're everywhere?" he asked anxiously. "There doesn't have to be so many, it's just, I liked it, and it's still tasteful, and they don't smell too much."

"No, it's perfect. You'd never know it was October."

Remus smiled as they reached the altar. "Would you like to see your bouquet?"

Lily nodded. The flowers strung from the ceiling and plastered or hanging everywhere made the illusion of snow in the old church. Either white, ivory, or of the softest pink, they seemed to fill the room with a soft glow. As Remus left her side to fetch her bundle of flowers, she could not seem to stop smiling. It seemed to the bride that the day had come together as perfectly as it could in a time of war.

"It's all thanks to you, Remus," she breathed, turning to him at last.

He grinned as a gasp left her lips.

"Oh my Lord, Remus," she murmured as tears filled her eyes, "it's beautiful."

"No crying!" he laughed, and she smiled through her tears as he handed the bundle of deep red roses with baby's breath to her.

"You're amazing," she whispered, and brought the flowers up to smell them. "It's all so – wow."

"You deserve all this and more, Lily," Remus said softly as she set the flowers down and threw her arms around him, "and I'm sure James would agree."

Lily's smile grew.

* * *

_That's right: A double update. Because this whole wedding thing is quite long. And because I feel bad for not updating in forever. So here you go. Maybe when forever ends again (either mid February or mid April) there could potentially be another post. Or two. But enjoy, my darling readers. And review. Because I like it, and it makes me want to NOT do homework and write/update for you all._

_And happy 2007!_


	14. Chapter 14

_Happy Valentine's Day! Or Singles Awareness, depending on which side of the fence you're sitting on. Enjoy this post, it's kind of relevant to today. The next chapter is also reminiscent of what this day may bring ... and maybe you'll all get another post. -gasp-_

* * *

Lily had dried her tears by the time they reached the hotel room, and was all business again.

"I made a list before you came in," she said, sitting back on the bed and brandishing the paper. "And I want everything checked off before I put on my dress."

"Alright, let's see it," Remus said, holding out his hand, but Lily ignored it.

"Number one," she read aloud, "church and flowers."

"Check," Remus smiled, and Lily checked it off with a flourish.

"Number two," she continued, "reception area."

"Check."

"Number three," she grinned, "cake and food."

"Check and check."

"Number four: ministers and photographer."

They looked at each other across the room.

"I told them both to notify the front desk when they arrived," Remus offered.

"And the photographer?" she asked anxiously.

"The photographer is some guy from the Daily Prophet who does this sort of thing all the time. He just flooed me and is on his way as we speak. Nothing to worry about," Sirius interrupted, his head in the fire.

"For sure?" Remus asked.

"Absolutely positively."

Lily gave a sigh of relief.

"And why are you here?" he asked, a line of worry crossing his forehead.

"I'm supposed to be checking on the bride and Vera Wang."

"We're both wonderful," Lily smiled. "How is James?"

"He's great," Sirius lied enthusiastically. Fortunately, Remus was the only one that caught it.

As Lily went into the bathroom smiling, Sirius left the fire and Remus entered it.

"What is going on?" he demanded.

Sirius was sat in front of the fireplace, but Remus could still see past him to the couch where James was curled in the fetal position.

"It's actually quite ridiculous," Sirius said quietly. "He's been obsessed with her for how long and now he has cold feet."

"It's not cold feet," James moaned from the couch. "I'm just not sure if today –"

"That's cold feet, mate," Sirius cut him off.

"You don't understand," James whined, rolling off the couch and crawling to sit next to Sirius. "What if she feels forced? Like in sixth year, in MONTH, she agreed to go on that date just to shut me up? What if this is just her trying to shut me up? Everyone says that the romance wears off. What if she's just marrying me so that the romance wears off?"

Remus sighed as Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I love her! I don't want to ever not love her!"

"Number five," Lily said behind him, "boys in tuxes."

"Listen,' Remus said sharply and quietly, "she loves you, prongs. If she didn't, she would not have bought the perfect Vera Wang dress, cried when she saw the church, or have a list made of thinks she wants done before she puts on her dress. If she didn't love you, if she didn't want to marry you, she would not have bragged about you at the spa for four hours this morning. So you better smarten up and get dressed for her because she is ridiculously beautiful today."

James looked at Sirius. "Where's you hang my tux?"

Remus left the fire and stood up to find Lily smiling with his tux in her hand.

"Shower first, please," she said.

---

"Oh, wow, Remus," Lily gasped as he stepped out of the bathroom. "You look amazing in a tux."

Remus grinned. "Imagine what James will look like."

"I'm swooning with the very thought."

She stepped forward as they laughed and straightened his tie. He could see the anxiousness in her emerald eyes. He felt it too, and as the phone rang, she saw her eyes fill with tears.

"Both ministers and the prophet are here," he said quietly as he hung up. Lily dabbed at her eyes and smiled. "Are you ready?" he asked softly.

She shrugged and looked at her list.

"Anything left?"

She shook her head.

"It's after two now."

She nodded.

"Do you need help getting it on?"

She nodded again.

"Mine?"

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "Yes please. If you wouldn't mind."

"Not at all," she whispered, and she smiled gratefully.

He took the dress off its hanger as Lily nervously slipped off her robe.

"I'm gay, Lily, I won't jump you," he smiled, and she laughed, allowing him to hold the dress as she stepped into it. They put it on slowly, both silent as Remus laced up the back and Lily held her hair out of the way and wanted the entire process in the mirror. Remus looked up as he finished and they smiled at each other in the mirror.

"You look gorgeous," he whispered.

"Thank you," she breathed, and turning around, added, "for everything."

"It's been my pleasure, Mrs Potter," he grinned, and she smiled widely.

"What do we do now?" she asked after a pause, and Remus shrugged.

"We could go to the church and hide you from James," he offered.

Lily laughed. "We could. And not meet the ministers and photographer –"

"And press."

They looked at each other with their eyes narrowed.

"Let's stay here," she said.

"We can't stay here," Remus pressed. "They know you're here and they want to see you as you leave for the church."

Lily looked at him, her eyes wide. "How are we going to get out? I don't want –"

"I'm a marauder," Remus cut her off simply, and she smiled as he picked up the phone to call down to the spa.

---

"What's the password?" Remus asked when the knock echoed at the door.

"Summer of '76," came Melindi's sigh. "But I still think that cotton candy incident the summer before should play a part in it," she added with a grin as Remus opened the door to her.

"That might have been my worst summer memory with you," he said.

"I thought it was pretty funny, actually," she retorted.

"Let's get on with this all," Lily interrupted impatiently, looking at the clock.

"What are we doing anyways?" Melindi asked, eyeing Lily's dress and grinning at her as Lily smiled back.

"Sirius is going to ring when he gets here," Remus answered. "I'll go down to meet him, we'll, uh, stage it as though we're a gay couple," he said, glancing at Melindi. "The press will be all over us, and then you two can slip out with minimal detection."

"And you're sure this will work?" Melindi asked warily.

Lily laughed. "It always works. If Sirius is involved – and in a tux –" she added, grinning, "the cameras will be glued to them. Once you see Sirius you'll understand."

Melindi shook her head, smiling. "No one can hold a candle to Remus."

Remus laughed outright as the phone rang, and Lily picked it up.

"But where is James?" she asked, and smiled at the answer. "All systems are go," she said, and hung up.

"Count to twenty before you leave," Remus said as he reached the door.

Sirius was standing against the front desk decked out in his own tux and chatting nonchalantly to a member of the press as Remus stepped out of the elevator. It may have looked like acting to Melindi, butt he looks that Remus and Sirius exchanged in front of their audience was anything but fake. Sirius broke off his conversation with the reporter as Remus neared him, and his jaw dropped. Remus grinned and spun around for Sirius as the press watched on with a buzz.

"Wow," Sirius breathed, grinning, and the reporter looked at him.

"It's about time you got here," Remus said quietly, standing next to Sirius. "You look good, by the way."

"So do you," Sirius shot back, eyeing him as Remus blushed and the reported shifted uncomfortably.

The two men looked at each other, and every member of the press watched on. But as Sirius leaned closer and the photographers raised their cameras, Remus pulled back.

"Not here," he hissed," and the fake-hurt in Sirius' eyes was evident. "Not in front of all these people," Remus added, casting a nervous eye over the flock of people.

"Why does it matter anymore?" Sirius asked in a stage whisper, and the press surged forward. Remus and Sirius seemed not to notice and the elevator opened. "Why can't we be public about this, Remus? I love you –"

"And I love you, too," Remus said, Turning his back to the elevator and facing Sirius.

Then what the hell," Sirius said, grabbing Remus' lapels and bringing him down for a kiss. And as they kissed the cameras went off and both began shaking with laughter.

As Lily crossed the street with Melindi, as scripted, she looked behind and shot a winning smile at the two photographers who noticed her escape.

"You really are quite the actor, Remus," Melindi commented flirtatiously later.

Remus could only smile.


	15. Chapter 15

James arrived with Sirius at half past two, and by a quarter to three, the bride and groom had both been spoken to regarding how the day would go. The guests were all seated, Lily and Remus waited in the room off the foyer, and James and Sirius waited at the altar.

"He didn't say what was happening in that hour before dinner," Lily panicked. "What's going to happen?"

"You'll get your pictures taken, sign the marriage license, and cool down," Remus explained calmly. "Your guests will discuss the ceremony, the dress, the flowers, and James' hair as they have some hors d'ourvours."

"For an hour?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes," Remus said slowly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, too quickly.

"Tell me and I'll fix it."

Lily took a deep breath. "It's just that, well, I always pictured this day a certain way. You know, the flowers, the dress, the groom –" Remus smiled. "– and it's perfect, except one thing."

"What?"

"I always – I've dreamed – of my dad giving me away," she whispered, and Remus pulled her close to him. "And he would try to be brave, but would really cry, and walk me down the aisle, both his hands on one of mine, and at the end he would lift my veil and kiss my cheek and whisper 'I love you' in my ear –" she trailed off, and Remus looked at her.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked softly.

"Will you walk me down the aisle?" she breathed. "Daddy knew you, and he liked you –"

Remus grinned. "I'd love to," he said, and Lily smiled gratefully.

A knock echoed on the door and Sirius stuck his head in. "Are you ready – wow. Lily, you're gorgeous," he gasped.

Lily could only nod, and Sirius grinned widely.

"I've told the press not to take pictures during the ceremony, but as soon as you two are pronounced or whatever there will be a storm of flashes," he warned, "so try to ignore it. And have fun, kid."

Lily smiled, and Sirius winked before leaving them. Lily and Remus looked at each other.

"We'll wait in the hall," he said.

"You have the rings? The vows?"

"Done and done," he answered, handing her the bouquet and offering his arm. She took both and he led her down the hall until they were in the foyer, out of sight from the altar. Remus put Lily's veil down and she smiled bravely as the first chords rang out from the organ. As they stepped into the aisle, the entire church stood. Even the very back pews were filled. From Order members to aurors to healers to press to friends, everyone had their eyes locked on Lily. James took half a step forward to see her better, smiling broadly as their eyes met. As the organist played Pachabel's Canon flawlessly, Remus led Lily down the aisle. They both smiled, but Lily's eyes never left James. When they reached the altar and the organ ceased, the minister stepped forward.

"Who gives this woman away?"

"I do," Remus answered, and he lifted Lily's veil and kissed her on the cheek. "He loves you – always will."

She smiled at him with tears in her eyes and he squeezed her hand before turning to James, smiling, and exchanging a nod with him. As Remus stepped back, James and Lily joined hands in front of the minister.

---

Sirius was true to his word. As the ceremony progressed, the press took not one photo. But as soon as the minister finished with "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," the cameras went off and the guests stood up to applaud the happy couple. As James and Lily walked down the aisle to the traditional wedding march, Remus, Sirius, and the minister followed.

Lily was on top of the world. For once, everyone was together and happy. There seemed to be hope again, and she beamed at James. James was elated that they had finally tied the knot. Everything was up to the fates now, and he felt he could take whatever life threw at him.

As the minister joined the couple in the foyer, he smiled. "Would you like to sign the papers now?"

They both agreed, and moments later Sirius joined them, bringing with him the minister of magic. Remus, meanwhile, alerted the guests of the location of the reception and that they had an hour before speeches and dinner before he joined the others in the hall.

"Okay, let's get this done," Lily said impatiently, squeezing James' hand.

"Follow me," the minister smiled, and began to lead the party to his office. Both ministers led, followed by Remus and Sirius, and Lily and James trailed behind.

As they passed an empty corridor, James put a finger to his lips and pulled Lily halfway down, wrapping his arms around her, grinning.

"Well," he whispered as Lily leant against him, "congratulations, Mrs Potter."

"Why thank you, Mr Potter," she breathed, brushing her lips against his jaw.

"You look beautiful," he sighed, pressing his forehead against hers. "You should wear that dress everyday. Or nothing at all."

Lily giggled. "You're such a charmer, Mr Potter, and quite fit in that tux."

"I'm ridiculously happy."

"So am I."

The space between them diminished until they were both held in a passionate lip-lock, James leaning against the wall for support as they held each other close. Lily pressed herself against him, holding his lapel in one hand and letting the other snake its way into his hair.

As flashes went off, they broke apart, beaming.

"How does it feel to have finally married James?" one reported asked Lily, and she grinned.

"It's amazing. I don't know why we waited so long."

"Is it reassuring at all?"

"To know that I have the greatest man with me for the rest of my life? Yes. I'm glad we found each other."

"Is it everything you wanted?"

"And more."

"James, what did you think when you saw Lily coming down the aisle?"

"I couldn't," he answered happily, "she erased all logical thought from my head when I saw her standing there. I still can't string together a sentence, I'm so much in awe."

"What are you going to do after the reception?"

"Drink champagne and make love all night long," James said.

"Until noon tomorrow," Lily added, and the reporters roared with laughter and applauded as Lily and James kissed again and more cameras went off.

---

---

_I was overwhelmed by all the lovely reviews! Thank you! It was such a pleasnat surprise to see old and new reviewers! I'm on top of the world. And if it wasn't for school and exams there would be more posts, but alas, I need to get studying, and writing, don't worry. I'll never give up on this. THANK YOU SO MUCH!_

_xoxo - Jazz_


	16. Chapter 16

It was one in the morning when Lily and James left the reception, but the party went until three when Melindi was sent up to break it up.

"Come on, honey," Sirius swayed, "you can give us all just one more round, cantcha?"

Remus laughed and Melindi smiled at him.

"I can't, actually," she said sweetly to Sirius. When she turned to Remus, she asked, "Would you like to go for coffee?"

"Coffee sounds fan-bloody-tastic," Sirius slurred, slinging an arm over Remus' shoulders. "Doesn't it sound good, Mooney?"

Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius' waist. "Yes, it sounds lovely, but you are very drunk and I don't think she was offering it to you."

"Well, she should've been," Sirius went on.

"You should go to bed," Remus pressed.

"With you, har har –"

"No, not with me. I'll take you to the room –"

"And I'll get out the lube –"

"And you can run a hot shower –"

"If you'll join me –"

"And get out of the tux –"

"Only with your help with the … zipper –"

"And then sleep."

"Or not."

Melindi rolled her eyes. "Is he always this difficult?"

Sirius fell into the chair behind him.

"I'll go and get you some coffee," Remus told him. "You wait here."

"But Mooney –"

"Stay," Remus ordered, and Sirius stopped protesting. He followed Melindi out where she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, that was uncomfortable."

Remus laughed. "He has a tendency to do that."

"I mean, all of those lewd comments – don't you ever wonder if he's serious?"

"He is Sirius."

"I mean not kidding around."

"That too," Remus replied. They had reached the vending machine that gave coffee and other hot drinks.

"Doesn't it make you uncomfortable?"

"Not at all," Remus said as he reached in his pocket for change.

"Oh."

"What are you having?"

"Nothing," she said quickly. "I'm not thirsty."

"All right, then."

"Would you like to give us a chance again?"

Remus looked at her. "Melindi –"

"I know it was a long time ago," she said quickly, "but I'm not with anyone, and if you're not with anyone –"

"I am with someone, though," Remus said quietly as he punched in his order. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, no, it's okay," she recovered, blushing. "Um, if you don't mind me asking, who?"

It was Remus' turn to blush. "Sirius."

Melindi's eyes grew wide. "Oh. Right. Okay then."

"I should have told you sooner."

"No, it's all right."

"Actually, no," Remus said softly, "I should have told you when we were sixteen."

Melindi turned away from him. "Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't an act for the press?"

"Not at all."

"Right. Well, now I know."

"I really am sorry."

"Remus," she said, turning and smiling at him, "it's okay. Really. Thank you for telling me and being honest."

Remus could not help but smile back.

When they arrived back at the banquet hall, Sirius was passed out across the table.

"Keep the coffee," Remus told her as he handed her the cup. "I'll drag him upstairs."

Melindi smiled and nodded but said nothing as she left them. Remus bent down to Sirius' level.

"Padfoot, come on. We have to get to our room," he said, prodding the other man in the side.

"Only if we pretend we're on our honeymoon," Sirius slurred, letting Remus haul him up and out of the room.

They both slept soundly until noon the next day when they woke to find a pot of coffee already brewed for them.

* * *

_I'm sorry that was short. I had to end the wedding, and I needed seperate chapters to make you all happy, and to THANK YOU for your patience. I know I'm quite the procrastinator. However, double post for you this week, and hopefully this writing streak will stick with me until I get to the end? Seriously?_

_Yes.__ I don't want to say this too early, but this story is winding down. I'm starting to drop hints concerning the ending of this story. Yes, I have the final scene written, however, there isn't anything between this and the end. So that still has to be written, but there won't be much more between now and then. Enjoy it while it lasts! And feel free to muse about the end. I love musing myself, and I'd love to see what you all THINK (not know, Carly) is going to happen._

_  
So once again, thank you all so much for the reviews! They make my days brighter and my studying a little more bearable._


	17. Chapter 17

The week progressed as soundly as any week after someone's wedding could. Lily and James tried to find time to have a honeymoon, while Remus and Sirius went back to work. But the atmosphere the happy time had provided them with quickly vanished. Soon, Remus was arriving home late, and Sirius would get up early. They began speaking less and less, and their passion not only fizzled, but disappeared completely in the bedroom. Often, if Remus came home late enough, he would simply sleep on the couch, and not next to his lover.

Halloween found the men silent in each other's company, their fridge full of take-out of various Muggle establishments, be it Chinese, fried chicken, east Indian, or Thai. The only carton of milk was weeks old, over half full, and the freezer was in need of defrosting. But the lack of communication between Remus and Sirius would keep them both living silently and miserable.

But that Halloween night, Remus came home before Sirius. Without turning on the lights, without brewing tea, he sat at the kitchen table, his hands clasped together, his eyes cast unseeing ahead of him, lost in thought. Sirius came home at his regular time – one which Remus did not know. But when the door snapped shut behind Sirius, Remus looked, really looked, for the first time in what seemed like ages, at his lover.

It looked like Sirius had aged. His hair was longer, pulled hastily into a pony-tail. There were bags under his eyes, and Remus wondered when the last time was that he had a full night of sleep. His robes too seemed to hang looser on him.

Sirius stopped when he felt Remus' eyes on him.

It was unspoken. Sirius sat across the table from Remus, laying a hand on his. It was then that the first signs of emotion crossed Remus' face as he closed his eyes and looked down at their hands together. Sirius' hand tightened, and his other reached up to Remus' face. Remus turned into the touch, his lips touching Sirius's palm.

"I'm sorry," Sirius whispered, leaning towards the other man.

"So am I," Remus replied, and Sirius shook his head softly.

"What happened?"

"I've finished my mission for now. We found him," was all Remus managed before the tears began to leak from the corners of his eyes. He opened them to look at Sirius, and Sirius found them wet with tears and full of a passionate rage he had never seen before, even in the wolf, and for one of the very few times he was around Remus, he was afraid. He swallowed before asking his next – and last – question.

"Who did you find?"

"The man, no, the werewolf, who bit me," Remus breathed. "He's been responsible for – for all the children werewolves right now. Or at least most of them. And responsible for the huge amount of us, werewolves, who have turned to Voldemort for support." He closed his eyes and took a breath before he opened them to look back into Sirius' grey, concerning orbs. It was then he realized he needed Sirius, that he would always need Sirius, because without him and his confidence, his strong will, his ability to bring Remus back down from the insanity of the wolf, he would be nothing more than those he had been consorting with for the past year. He would be a werewolf in every respect. He would be a monster, and that was the last thing he wanted. It was the one promise he could keep for his parents who raised him, who did not give up when he was bitten. He couldn't be a monster, because if he became one, he could not have – would not let himself have – Sirius.

"Remus –"

"We found him, and he spoke directly to me, Sirius. He knew everything about me. He told me that if it was the last ting he did, he would take me as – as his pup."

Sirius was out of his chair before Remus had closed his eyes against the flood of tears. He wrapped his arms around Remus, and Remus fell apart in his arms, the hatred and pain inside of him spilling out.

Sirius held him until Remus' shoulders stopped shaking and his breath had returned to normal. He only relaxed when Remus tried to sit up.

"My back," he whispered, and Sirius let go with a small smile.

"Sorry."

"So am I."

They looked at each other for a moment, Remus still slightly slumped in the chair, Sirius crouching beside him on one knee. And it seemed all at once they were back to normal.

"This can't be right," Remus said with a smile. "Was that us making up?"

"Should it be more physical?" Sirius asked with a wink. Remus couldn't laugh, but he kept smiling, and Sirius knew. "Let's get to sleep. You look like you need some."

"So do you."

"Eye-bags are the new accessory, don't you know?"

And then Remus kissed Sirius on the lips. And although it was short, it was all that they needed to know they would be okay.

They didn't sleep that night, but lied awake until morning talking about what they had missed. And what they wouldn't miss anymore.

---

November blew in with the warmest weather they had experienced, or at least been able to enjoy to their full advantage. Lily chose to use it as a time to clean her yard, Remus walked around London one morning, inquiring about employment. Sirius and James pooled their ideas and made two separate picnic baskets. While James took the basket back to Lily, Sirius, not trying to be inconspicuous, wandered the streets of London, hoping to find Remus before the sun went down and the bread became soggy.

Just as he decided to turn back and wait for Remus back at their flat (where the sandwiches could recuperate in the fridge), a hand reached out of the crowd and grabbed Sirius' elbow. Before he could shout, Remus stood before him, a look of confusion and amusement, for so long absent, now flooding his face.

"What are you doing? You look like a shirt lifter."

"I better," Sirius replied indignantly. "I've spent all morning slaving in the kitchen with Prongs making you a picnic. Now let's go to the park."

Remus could do nothing but comply as the stares followed them down the cobblestone road.

---

Sirius pulled Remus down next to him on the grass in a secluded park. Remus could not argue, so sat without complaint that when they got up their pants would be wet with the dew that had not left the undisturbed grass.

"I made sandwiches," Sirius announced, laying out a small blanket (that Remus recognized as one that Sirius still had from his early childhood) and setting out wrapped turkey sandwiches, store-bought cookies, and a small bottle of wine.

"You thought of everything."

Sirius shrugged, but looked pleased with himself all the same. "I just wanted some time with you before the holidays and … well, you know what'll happen."

Remus smiled, taking a sandwich. "I do know. Thank you."

They both fell into a comfortable silence as they took their first bites of the sandwiches. As Sirius swallowed and Remus looked across the small park to where a couple was walking their dog, he spoke.

"Can we make a – a pact?" Sirius asked hesitantly, and Remus raised his eyebrows at him.

"A pact? Why do we need a pact?"

"So that we won't – so that we won't be lonely and silent again like we were, no matter what happens."

Remus smiled, leaning across the small distance between them to press his cheek against Sirius' much as two dogs would greet each other. "I promise I won't be lonely and silent with you," he whispered.

Sirius closed his eyes against the physical contact. "Good," he breathed, "neither will I."

"Good," Remus whispered, and he kissed the corner of Sirius' mouth softly. He wanted to add that he didn't want to be lonely anymore, that he was most lonely when Sirius wouldn't talk to him, that it killed him inside when he and Sirius weren't speaking. But all he could say was "good," and it was as though Sirius knew what he meant with that one little word.

"I'm glad," Sirius breathed against his lips, as they leant into the kiss. As though by saying "I'm glad" he could communicate that this was the happiest he had been without Remus really in his life. Sure, sharing a flat was one thing, yes they saw each other, but they hadn't touched, they hadn't shared their lives like married couples would, how they had both said they wanted to. He wanted to tell Remus that he would trust him forever, that he was happy Remus was living his life, and Sirius was just glad that Remus let him be a part of it. Because if it weren't for Remus, Sirius knew he wouldn't be able to hold out against all of the evil happening in the world, that Lily and James would not be able to save him from being strong enough to keep denying the Black in his blood. But with Remus, with his love holding him to the good side, he could fight Voldemort with everything he had in him.

Neither could say what they wanted, but both knew that they needed each other. That they would always need each other.


	18. Chapter 18

_All right. Expect more chapters a little more frequently as university has finally released me from it's clutches for the summer! as for this chapter, be warned: there is a touch of cursing and a sexual innuendo. Enjoy!_

---

---

Throughout the month of November, Remus secured a job as store clerk at a bookshop near their flat in Muggle London. Sirius was sent away for a week with his Auror department, and though they did not fall apart again, their relationship was not progressing. Held at a stand-still, it was hard for Remus to plan anything for Christmas. It would be the first – at least, until this point – without a tragedy on their shoulders. It would not be the first holiday he would miss his parents, but there was a heaviness in the air, and he knew that had they been alive, he would have visited for the holidays.

Sirius, on the other hand, waist deep in work, could not start to think about the holidays, and in his opinion, the Order would probably keep it that way. He became sullen, pretending everything was okay when Remus asked him, but still depressed that a holiday for him was no where in sight.

Lily and James were no help on the holiday front. They had decided to take the holiday week off as their honeymoon. They would be headed to Australia for a warm Christmas on the winter solstice, and only be back in time for a day of rest before a New Year's celebration. That left Remus and Sirius alone to fend for themselves.

By mid-December, Remus would come home dusty and bored, while Sirius would hobble in – late, as was the norm – bruised and sore. Remus knew that it was in no way his fault, but he still felt guilty, especially as he neared the full moon. He knew Sirius would stop at nothing to accompany him, but he did not want to cause him pain if the wolf became excited. There would be no Prongs at the next transformation to substitute if Padfoot became too tired to keep the wolf in check.

Sirius never saw the struggle that Remus endured. All he saw was the amazing partner who, when Sirius came through the door, would brew a cup of tea for him, warm up dinner, and help slather the medicated lotions on his sore joints and bruises so that he could get up in the morning and "save the day" all over again. Too often he would see the sadness that filled his Moony's eyes when the bruises were tinged with yellow and green, or there had already been medical help with broken limbs or things just as serious, and just as unspoken as the rest of it. Long gone were Remus' questions of "where did this one come from?", and more were there whispers of "brace yourself".

Five days before Christmas, Sirius, Remus, and Peter found themselves at Godric's Hollow, wishing James and Lily a safe trip to Down Under. Their visit was short, as Sirius had an evening mission with the Order and James still needed to pack. Peter turned down Remus' offer of a night cap at his flat, and he went home alone.

Remus was forced by his condition to take the next day, the winter solstice, the day of his transformation, off. Unfortunately, the book store he worked for was in need of extra workers, and his failure to go to work would lead to his firing. Of course, Remus would not tell Sirius this, because Sirius had limped in at three in the morning and crawled into bed with Remus, who was still awake and was up in seconds to get a cup of tea and everything he needed to fix up Sirius for the next morning. When Sirius had told him he didn't have to, Remus said that it was the least he could do, and that was the end of it.

So when Remus left early that morning to tell them he would have to take the day off, and they fired him on the spot, he went Christmas shopping.

He had no idea what he could get Sirius that would be enough, but wouldn't put him in too much more debt than he already was, but he knew anything would be accepted. So he thought. In the middle of the street, in the middle of the wet snow, he thought of what Sirius could possibly want or need for Christmas. And when he decided he couldn't think of what Sirius would want, he thought of what Padfoot might like.

By the time Remus got home, he was soaked to the bone with his arms full of bags. Sirius was sat at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of tea and reading the Prophet. When he stood up to offer his help, Remus said only one word that spoke volumes, and Sirius obeyed.

"Stay."

---

"You bought a turkey?" Sirius asked later that evening as Remus locked up the flat and set silencing spells all around. "A turkey and … cranberries? Potatoes?" He gasped as he opened the fridge. "Pudding! You bought Christmas pudding! Remus, what –?"

"Oh, shut up about it," Remus sighed. "It's Christmas, I'm hungry, and you went all of last Christmas without your pudding. But don't expect me to go back to the store for you. There are no house elves here to clean up after you when you over dose on pudding like fifth year."

"No encore?"

Remus shot him a look, and Sirius grinned widely.

"Okay, okay. Moderation this year. How much do I owe you for all this?"

"You don't," Remus replied shortly.

"Oh, come on, I can give you some –"

"You're already paying for the flat. I can buy the groceries – that's not a problem."

"Oh, Mr Employed, pardon me," Sirius cheeked, turning back to the kitchen where he opened more cupboards to find what else Remus could have bought. He didn't see the fallen look cross Remus' face, hidden just as quickly as it appeared.

"So we'll actually have a Christmas this year, even if Lily and Prongs aren't here?"

"Yeah," Remus recovered, joining Sirius in the kitchen. "I mean, might as well. They'll be doing their own celebrating in any case. And they'll be back for New Year's, so we'll all be able to get together or whatever."

"For a change," Sirius frowned. "Do you realize we've all barely spent time together? I mean, sure I see James at work, but … I miss the closeness."

"We'll invite Peter for Christmas dinner, or lunch or whatever if he has plans with that girl or whoever he spends all his time with."

Sirius sat back with a laugh, the frown on his face completely disappeared. "I can't believe he's got a girl to be honest, but good for him. Knew he had it in him."

"Too bad he won't come around anymore, though."

"Well, what do you expect? Besides, we've never gone round to his place."

"That's because he never told us where he lives," Remus said, and silence fell around them.

"He probably knew we'd egg his house or something anyway," Sirius rebounded, and Remus only nodded in response. "So, what do you want for Christmas?"

"Nothing, I don't need anything."

"Seriously. What do you want?"

"Nothing. Don't buy me anything."

"Do you want me to do something instead?"

"No."

"Because I know you bought me something, and we both know I'm the one who should be showering you with gifts."

"I don't want anything."

"Name it."

"Nothing."

"Do you have your eye on a book? What's the title? Come on, let me get you something!"

"Sirius! That's enough! I don't want anything."

Sirius fell silent, and they both looked at each other.

"Don't even try the legimens: you know you can't get in."

Sirius pouted. Remus stood his ground.

"But –"

"Don't test my patience, Sirius," Remus said softly. "Not tonight, or you'll pay for it later, and I don't want to hurt you, so shut up about it."

"Fine."

"You know you shouldn't pout, it's unbecoming."

"Would you like to 'becoming'?" Sirius asked with a wink.

"I am going to kick your ass."

"Please," Sirius grinned, and together they got up from the table as the sun went down.


	19. Chapter 19

_I died when I finished Deathly Hallows. Luckily, it doesn't really change this. Hallelujah! As for this chapter, it's animalistic (which is new to me), and a new, _deeper_ kind of smut (also new). It's rated a very _hard **R**_, so if you can't take them kissing ... skip the end. For the rest of you who thrive on puppy smut ..._

_Tell me what you all think, I desperately need the feedback (or I might need to put this on hiatus). Seriously, everyone, be brutal (it won't put me off, I swear!). Very, very brutal. I like it like that. ... Oh, the innuendo._

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---

---

Sirius transformed into Padfoot as Remus laid quietly, his fists clenched and face set, on the bed. Padfoot lay by the bedroom door, waiting for the moon, waiting for his playmate. Remus was no fun. But Moony – the wolf – always guaranteed excitement and a new adventure.

When Remus went rigid on the bed, Padfoot closed his eyes. He did not witness Remus' shaking limbs before they transformed, his nose lengthening, fur sprouting. In seconds, the wolf rose from the bed, sniffing the air – the very human air – around him. But one scent distracted him, and he turned his head to find the dog waiting for him. As the wolf jumped off the bed, the dog stood, tail wagging. The wolf approached slowly, verifying that this was indeed his pack mate.

With a playful nudge from the wolf's muzzle, the sign of acceptance, the dog's play began and he led the wolf into the greater part of the flat where it was dark and full of stimulating smells. While the dog circled the living room, the wolf went into the kitchen, the combined scent of people and food luring him to sniff at every corner, to lick the floors where food has once fallen, where the human's sweat had stained the floor.

But soon the wolf lost interest in the human and began to yearn for blood. Before he could act on his urges, however, the dog appeared on the other side of the table, begging for play from his pack mate.

The wolf started towards the dog, under the table, tangling his gangly limbs in the chair legs. Padfoot's tail thumped on the floor as the wolf struggled, first advancing then backing up, all in vain. Padfoot gave an impatient and amused bark, encouraging Moony to make it through the "jungle". Growing increasingly frustrated himself, Moony growled at the chair legs using his strength to push through to the other side, breaking a fair number of the wooden obstacles, splinters littering the floor behind him as he met the dog on the other side, who stood up to greet the pounce.

They rolled on the floor, playfully scrapping, their energies too high to do anything else but move all over each other. When the wolf bounded into the living room, mounting the couch, Padfoot was right behind him, toppling them both over the back of the couch as it came crashing down with the speed and weight they had thrown at it. The game of chase intensified as they circled the kitchen and living room, leaving scratch marks in the floors, dents and claw marks in the walls where they had lost their footing and slid, barking and howling, until they came crashing into each other, into the wall.

It seemed to go on for hours. The chase, then the wrestling, until Padfoot would release himself from the wolf's clutches and continue his wild path through the flat. By the early hours of the morning, the dog collapsed in the middle of the floor of the living room, exhausted. The wolf nudged him, trying to make him continue the game, but Padfoot would have nothing of it. He succumbed to the wolf's prods without argument, and Moony seemed to enjoy torturing the dog, walking away for long enough that the dog's eyes would close before coming back quickly and waking him up again and again.

The dog arose for another short game of chase, during which the wolf was more rowdy and enthusiastic as before, and the game was shorter than intended. The moon waned as the dog dosed off, and Moony became Remus again.

He collapsed on the floor next to Padfoot, who had finally fallen asleep.

"Sirius," Remus gasped, prodding the sleeping dog, but Padfoot merely snuffled and rolled over. "Sirius," Remus repeated, "wake up. Sirius."

But Padfoot did not move, nor make the slightest indication that he could hear Remus.

Remus, still slightly wolfish, lost his patience and stood up.

"Sirius," he said loudly, "get up." And when Padfoot still did not stir, Remus poked him with his foot. Once lightly, the second time slightly more firm. The third time he managed to push the dog across the floor half a foot. It was then that Padfoot looked up, saw Remus, and transformed into Sirius.

"The moon's over?" he asked, sleepily, and began to lead them to the bedroom. "Good, because I'm exhausted."

"The night isn't over yet, Sirius," Remus growled from the doorway, and Sirius, standing beside the bed, turned to look at him in surprise.

"What are you –?"

"Shut up."

"But, Rem–"

"Shut up," he repeated. "I'm about to fuck you through that mattress, and you need to shut up."

Sirius' eyes widened as Remus quickly closed the space between them, crushing their lips together and pushing him down on their bed. They fell backwards, but the awkward landing ended when Remus ground his hips into Sirius' and his tongue swept the inside of his mouth, tasting his mate.

"Remus –"

"I thought I told you to shut up," Remus growled as he pushed himself up to hover over the other man. When Sirius gulped, Remus whispered "good boy," and slid off of the bed and padded over to the dresser. Fumbling for a moment, Sirius could barely form a thought before Remus was knelt between his knees; warm, wet hands massaging his thighs, making them tingle as blood rushed to his erection. Remus was throbbing as he smirked, running his hands higher on his thighs, and then pulling once – twice – on Sirius, who gasped, closed his eyes, and drew his bottom lip between his teeth at the touch. And just as quick as he was there, Remus' hands were gone, smoothing the skin that stretched along Sirius' hips, ghosting his breath along Sirius' length. He brought his hands back to the inside of Sirius' thighs, coaxing them apart, before he brought his mouth down on Sirius' hardness as his finger, still wet with lube, reached behind to stroke Sirius' opening. As he brought all of Sirius into his mouth, he moaned and Remus pushed one finger into him. Sirius gasped and his eyes opened wide with shock to look down at his lover, but as he saw Remus slide off him and felt him slide out, he closed his eyes and threw his head back on the bed in ecstasy. Remus continued his ministrations, managing to push two – three – fingers into Sirius before he pulled out and off of him. He quickly rubbed himself twice as Sirius gasped in both pleasure and pain before Remus caught his lips passionately. As he guided himself to Sirius' stretched opening, Sirius' eyes opened again, wider than before.

"Ever done this before?" Remus growled, and Sirius' breath caught in his throat.

"I've – no – you should – have you?"

Remus smirked as Sirius stared at him in shock.

"In my dreams," Remus hissed, and pushed himself into him as Sirius let out a guttural cry, his breath tickling Remus' cheek. As Remus began to pull out, Sirius grabbed his hips painfully hard.

"No, that hurts," he breathed, but Remus ignored him as he continued to pull out until only his head was still in his mate, and then pounded back into him. Sirius cried out again, and as he thrust again, Remus could feel Sirius pushing himself onto him. Over and over, they pounded against each other before Remus stopped inside him.

"Is this okay?" he whispered tantalizingly in his lover's ear as Sirius pushed his hips upwards.

"Oh, Moony, fuck – gods," he panted, "fuck, Moony."

He pounded into him once, then asked, "Through the mattress?"

But before Sirius could answer, Remus drew back; Sirius drew breath, and was soon crying out as Remus fucked him from the inside out. As Remus came close to the end, he held himself above Sirius, still thrusting, and took his mate's throbbing hardness into his free hand and pulled until Sirius cried out once more with release and Remus exploded inside him.

He drew out and rolled beside Sirius, so they were lying side by side, staring at the ceiling, panting for breath.

After a moment, Sirius turned to look at Remus who had closed his eyes.

"Moony, that was –" he began, but couldn't finish, so Remus continued.

"The wolf," he whispered hoarsely. "That was the wolf. I hope I didn't hurt you too much."

And as Sirius silently stared at him in shock, Remus fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

_Thank you everyone for your lovely comments (and for catching my forgetfulness, Kit!). Thanks to the lovely reviews (and some readers coming out of the woodwork! Welcome! Thank you!) there will be no hiatus and many more chapters!_

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The winter sun shone through the bedroom window to light upon the two men lying side by side, peacefully, on the bed. As the room brightened, the men's eyes tightened onto the last minutes of sleep. Or, rather, the darker man did, while the light-haired man blinked, raising one stiff hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes before lying his hand on his eyes, shielding the sun, and sighing. It was a strange sigh – one of bitterness and tiredness, and of hope and thankfulness. He succumbed after a moment, and pulled himself into a sitting position, pulling his knees to his chest and stretching forwards, his back cracking into motion. As he swung his legs of the bed, thinking of tea, his partner spoke.

"I hate it when you crack," he said groggily, hoarsely.

"Habit," he replied, standing and reaching up towards the ceiling, his back, elbows, shoulders, and neck cracking together.

"Disgusting," Sirius whispered, rolling onto his back and looking up at Remus through squinting eyes. "But you look gorgeous."

"I feel disgusting."

"So do these sheets."

"And the rest of the flat?"

Sirius could hear the apprehension in Remus' voice. It was always there the morning after his transformation, and the result was always the same.

"Same as always. But you spent more time in the kitchen."

"And here I wanted a cup of tea."

Sirius grinned at the other man's cheek, his eyes closing as he rolled back onto his stomach, pressing his face into Remus' pillow as he stretched.

Remus was already in the kitchen, trying to step around (but inevitably stepping on) the splinters of the chairs that had once sat around the table. The table itself had two legs knocked from under it and was leaning into the kitchen. Remus stood against the counter – newly scratched, the cupboard behind his knees smashed in, the pots and pans askew, the plastic handles bearing bite marks – as he waited patiently for his tea. He listened as Sirius moved slowly into the bathroom, run the water, flush the toilet, fight with the shower curtain, and hiss in pain. The bathroom and spare bedroom were the only rooms safe from the wolf on the full moons, although their doors bore the want to explore of the wolf.

The kettle whistled and Remus poured his cup as the water in the bathroom turned off. He pulled open the curtains of the small window and looked out to the bright wintry day.

Sirius limped into the kitchen as Remus turned from the window.

"Fancy a cuppa?"

Sirius nodded, the towel around his waist slipping slightly as he raised his wand to repair the chairs and table.

Remus placed their mugs on the table as Sirius sank, wincing, into the chair across from him.

"Sorry about last night."

"No need. I'll be fine. It was good."

"I don't think I meant to."

"I'm glad you did."

"But I hurt you."

"Well, it's not every day –" Sirius paused and looked up into Remus' concerned eyes before looking back down. "I wouldn't mind it if it was."

Remus did not reply as they both sipped their tea.

"You ruined the couch again."

"And the bedroom door, I noticed."

"I can fix it up."

"I'll handle the bedroom."

"You sure will."

Remus laughed, setting his cup in the sink. As he arrived at the mangled bedroom door, he called back over his shoulder.

"Thank you."

"You better be, you dominatrix, you."

But Remus kept smiling.

Once Remus finished fixing the damage in the bedroom, replacing the sheets on the bed, and putting pants on, he began to unpack the belongings that he had hid out of the wolf's reach. But as he made his way through the closet, he noticed a box he had never seen before. On the folded top, it read "To Remus, re: Lupin Estate". A lump in his throat, he carried it into the newly repaired living room where Sirius was sprawled on the couch. He looked up as Remus entered.

"You did a number on the fireplace, you should know."

"Did you bring this box home?"

The smile slid from Sirius' face as Remus looked at him.

"Yeah, Dumbledore gave it to me to give to you a couple days ago. Sorry, I kind of put it in the closet to keep it out of the way."

"Oh. All right then."

"What is it?" Sirius asked quietly.

"It's from my parent's house," he replied, sitting on the couch next to Sirius, the box on his knees.

"Are you going to open it?"

They locked eyes for a brief moment before Remus looked back to the box and pulled the flaps up, unfolding the top and revealing –

"Oh, my life," Remus breathed, reaching in and pulling out a light bulb decorated to look like a reindeer.

"Moony, what –?"

"Jesus, Pads, they really did leave me everything. Jesus."

"Moony, I still don't –"

"They're Christmas ornaments, Padfoot. All of them. Not just the balls and holly and tinsel, but all the things I made in preschool, and with my neighbours and family, and –" He stopped abruptly, the light in his eyes going out as he stared down at a popsicle stick star. "It's too much," he whispered, pushing the box onto Sirius' knees, "There's too many memories." He stood up, the star still in his hand, and left the living room, taking no notice of Sirius' shocked expression.

He locked the bedroom door, knowing full well it would not stop Sirius from entering, and lay down on the made bed, the star in his hand, a tear in his eye. An ache was in his heart

It was a simple decoration, but one that was a favourite of his parents. Made of five popsicle sticks, their ends glued together into the never ending pattern of lines, multi-coloured glitter was smeared over the wood. He turned it over in his palm, knowing "Remus, Dec. 1966" would be etched there in blue ink. Turning it back to the front, his six year old self smiled down at him, scars on the young face. For ten minutes he lay there, staring at himself, the etched date, the glitter that his father thought was only for girls but his mother thought darling, and oh, wasn't it great that the put his picture in the centre. They hung it on the tree every year after that.

Finally he managed to smile at his picture, and sat up, knowing his mother would be rolling in her grave if he didn't get into the holiday spirit. She was always the one to decorate. Remus and his father would untangle the lights as she iced the cooled gingerbread men who would hang on the tree and slowly disappear before Christmas morning.

He stood in the doorway of the living room, grinning from ear to ear as he watched Sirius string holly over the mantle, and could swear the tune coming from the other man's lips was "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen." Yes, this Christmas would be a happy one after all.

When Sirius caught Remus looking at him, he coerced him into helping with the decorating. And so they strung holly, hung baubles, and sprinkled tinsel. Most of the decorations, however, remained in the box, as they were all for a tree.

When they finished what they could, Remus ran a bath as Sirius washed their mugs from earlier. But as Remus slid into the bath, he could see Sirius (through the bathroom door, which was never usually closed when one used the bath), pulling on his coat and gloves.

"Where are you going?"

"You'll see."

"Where?"

"See you later," he called, grinning over his shoulder at Remus, who sat in the warm tub, recognizing the glint in Sirius' eyes.

Fifteen minutes later, his bath finished, Remus dressed and padded out to the kitchen. He patiently brewed another cup of tea as he impatiently waited for Sirius to come back from whatever mischief he had managed. As he settled onto the couch, he barely had enough time to properly zone out and drink his tea before Sirius was back, backing into the room, pulling a tree behind him.

"There weren't many left," he panted as Remus jumped up to help him across the threshold, "but the guy at the lot have me a deal, so I said yes, and –" They pulled it full into the living room and propped it up. "Well, there's our tree," he said proudly.

It looked pathetic. Many of the needles had been knocked off, and entire branches had been snapped off at varying lengths from the trunk, which was slightly bent.

"Granted, it isn't the prettiest, but," Sirius looked at Remus, "I wanted a tree, and you have all those decorations –"

Remus smiled at him. "It's wonderful."

Sirius grinned, and immediately began pulling the lights around the tree.

Remus sat back and watched – much as a parent watches their child – as Sirius decorated the tree. As Sirius pulled out childhood decorations, he looked at Remus for the story behind them, and soon Remus was telling stories of his childhood he thought he would never utter; memories, mostly simple ones, that he would have locked in his mind forever; and bits and bats that wouldn't matter to anyone else but him.

Sirius worked his way up the tree, decorating one for the first time in his life. He reached the top nearly an hour later, after choosing the best ornaments, as the wimpy tree would never be able to hold them all, and fought with himself as he tried to decide between the star or the angel for the very top. Remus had gone back to the kitchen when Sirius finally settled for the star, and then reached behind the tree to plug it in. As the lights flickered into existence, he stood back to admire his work. He felt Remus' arms wrap around his shoulders, and smiled, bringing his own hands up to grasp Remus'.

"Happy Christmas," Remus whispered in his ear, and Sirius' smile grew.

"Happy Christmas."

And they stood together, looking up at the tree for a few minutes, Remus' eyes travelling over the well known decorations before Sirius spoke again.

"Let's get drunk."

And Remus obliged.


	21. Chapter 21

_My sincerest apologies. I don't know what happened, but somehow the last couple of chapters were, well, wrong. Or at least incredibly incomplete. Now, there is a bit of more new reading at the end of the next chapter, but these two have had some serious re-vamping occur. Also, please accept my apologies for, well, not updating since September. Turns out third year almost killed me. SO, here, in time for the holidays (only just in time!) is some Christmas festivities (again) from the pups. Enjoy, and Happy Holidays!_

* * *

They sat on the couch that afternoon looking at the tree, snuggling in each other's arms, drinking a bottle of wine between them. As the evening began to progress and the buzz from the wine faded, Sirius' stomach began to growl. After little debate, Sirius was pulling on his coat again, as Chinese Take Away was on the menu. As soon as Sirius had shut the door behind him, Remus was off the couch and into the spare bedroom where he had hidden Sirius' present in the closet – where Sirius would never look. Sirius never went into the spare bedroom if he could help it, anyway. He quickly wrapped the present, hoping that Sirius would take his time getting the food.

And Sirius was taking his time. He placed the order in at the Chinese place and then told them he would be back in half an hour for it. In that half hour he stopped in at the bookstore, and quickly perused the shelves before a young woman asked if he needed help finding something. He asked her if she knew who Remus was, and when she said that she did, he asked her what books he wanted, or seemed to want, or went starry-eyed over. The girl grinned and led her to the back of the store, telling him quietly that books weren't the only thing they sold, and handed him a Beatles record.

"You have a player, right?" she asked, and when Sirius shook his head, she gave him the name of the store across the street that sold the players. She rang him through and wished him a Happy Christmas, and asked to pass the greeting along to Remus.

It only took Sirius five minutes to buy the record player and arrange the gifts in such a manner that Remus would not be able to tell what was in the bags.

He picked up the food just as Remus placed the wrapped gift under the shabby tree, sending showers of needles floating to the ground as he brushed the branches.

Remus was sitting on the couch when Sirius came through the door and made a bee-line for their bedroom, food and all.

"What did you buy me?" Remus asked immediately, not bothering to stand up nor to hide the amusement in his voice.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

Remus could hear the other man in the room, making more noise than necessary, clanging around the metal clothes hangers as he hid the gift under the bed. Sirius had always hid their presents in Hogwarts under the bed, and Remus knew that there would be no difference this year.

Sirius came back into the living room after a moment carrying only the Chinese food. Remus grinned innocently at him as he sat down. As Remus, still with a slightly goofy smile on his face, reached for one of the containers of food, Sirius' eyes travelled back to the tree and settled on the solitary, bright red box under the branches.

The wrapping wasn't as shiny as the wrapping they had used while in Hogwarts where there were tubes of the stuff in empty broom cupboards which the Marauders had discovered in their first year. Remus had always had trouble making bows stay upright and curly, and it was clear that he had used magic to keep the ribbons in their proper place. But the present, while looking a little dull, held the childish wonder that made Sirius put the food on his lap on the ground at his feet so he could get a closer look at the present that he knew was for him and him alone.

Remus was quite proud of himself. He always hated knowing what was in a particular box when he received presents at Christmas (clothing boxes still sent him the shivers), just by looking at the shape, just by giving it a little shake. But this box – this box was bigger than the present, and it had so much stuffing in it that shaking it would be fruitless (as Sirius would discover). The box told nothing of what was inside. It was perfect for Sirius, who had crouched down in front of it and was looking at it through squinted eyes, as though it would help him see through the packaging.

"Don't tell me this is for Lily," he joked, and Remus laughed behind him.

"Lily left, so no, she won't be getting it."

"What is it?" Sirius breathed, and his voice held something that sounded a lot like awe to Remus.

"You'll just have to wait until Christmas," Remus said lightly.

"You're awful good, Moony."

"And don't try opening it with magic. But then," Remus caught himself, another amused smile on his lips, "you should know that by now."

Sirius almost scowled at the memory. It was their fifth year, and it was Christmas. The previous years, Sirius had discovered a way to unwrap the presents with magic, and then wrap them back up again once he caught a look of what he, or, in some cases, what other students, were getting for the holiday. So even though Remus' presents, which were never very exciting and usually consisted of a book, were boring even when surprised by it, were even more so when Sirius and James had peeked. The two boys would concoct an act in order to please Remus, with lines such as "oh, just what I wanted!" and "I love the ending!", but it didn't take Remus very long to catch on that they were cheating. So in their fifth year, Remus discovered a spell to keep prying eyes and wands from finding out what they were getting before Christmas. That year had humbled Sirius and James a great deal, since Remus shared the spell with many others and soon there weren't any presents that could be opened before Christmas morning. But Sirius kept trying, and Remus kept getting sneakier by the holiday. Eventually, every time Sirius got close to a present the gift itself would burst out into terrible Christmas carols. Remus stayed quiet, but Sirius and James had the mickey taken out of them by Peter constantly. From that Christmas on, James and Sirius kept their eyes on the prize but their hands in their pockets.

"You should eat your food before it gets cold," Remus said from the couch, where he had already started in on his. "The food will go bad, your present won't."

"Oh, so not Christmas pudding?" Sirius asked without missing a beat, sitting back on the couch and picking up his food.

Remus poked his with his chop sticks, and they both began to laugh into their take away.

---

Christmas Eve Day was ridiculously uneventful for the two men. Early in the morning Remus took out the turkey to thaw, which surprised Sirius when, still drowsy, he found it in the kitchen sink when he tried to fill up the kettle for tea.

He refused to go into the kitchen after that, leaving Remus to fetch tea and biscuits throughout the day. (Which, Sirius commented, he didn't mind in the slightest since both men were too lazy to put any clothes on, and he rather enjoyed the view coming and going. Which was also the main reason Remus would have to get tea so often as Sirius refused to drink cold tea.)

It turned out to be one of the days that, lying in Remus' four poster bed at Hogwarts with the curtains drawn, they had both fantasized about. Or, rather, Sirius had fantasized about and Remus thought would never happen, seeing as they would both work or there would be an Order meeting, or James or Lily or Peter would be stopping by.

For the entire day, Sirius took great pleasure in proving Remus wrong, and Remus took great pleasure in making Sirius very happy.

But sustenance was granted that evening when, as Sirius dozed on the couch, Remus went off in search of curry take away. No need, Remus figured, to make a big production of Christmas Eve dinner when it was Christmas dinner that made Christmas Christmassy. Sirius woke up before Remus got back, so that when Remus walked through the door, his arms full with take away, he found Sirius in front of the tree, his soon-to-be-received present in his hands, and was shaking it.

"You're lucky it isn't breakable," Remus smiled, setting the food on the coffee table.

Sirius turned to Remus, a glint in his eye. "You're lucky you aren't breakable, what with the plans I have for you tonight."

Remus shook his head, laughing and opening the take away boxes.

"Eat," he said simply.

As they finished their take away (or, rather, as Sirius waited quietly for Remus to finish his take away, his gaze lingering on the tree before he snuck glances at Remus, concentrated on the chop sticks that were giving him more difficulty than usual), a knock came at the door. Sirius shot Remus a confused look before silently getting off the couch and padding his way to the door. Remus picked up the empty food containers and was in the kitchen when Sirius opened the door.

"Oh," he heard Sirius say, "hi again."

"Hi again," a friendly familiar female voice replied, and Remus heard her step into the flat. "I hope I'm not interrupting," she said, "but I was hoping Remus was here."

"Not interrupting anything," Sirius said happily as Remus stepped out of the kitchen.

Remus' face broke into a wide grin as he embraced the girl in a hug.

"Jules!" he exclaimed, and the girl laughed, returning the hug whole-heartedly. "What are you doing here?" he asked, stepping back, but still with a smile on his face.

"I'm here to beg," she said seriously, placing her hands on her hips and glaring at him, very reminiscent of Lily.

Remus shook his head, but the small grin didn't leave his face. "I'm sorry, but I can't come back. Colton made his views very clear about me."

"He doesn't know the whole you though, Remus," Jules argued, and Sirius watched on with an amused yet slightly confused glint in his eye.

"And he never will," Remus retorted. "I don't deserve to be treated that way, and I realize that I took the alleged wrong day off, but I can't help when I'm unwell, and I didn't –"

Jules shook her head, and it was her turn to grin knowingly as Remus stuttered to a halt.

"What?"

"Remus, clearly you and I have a done a very good job of hiding our secret, but really, I thought you would have paid more attention to the prefects that preceded yourself."

"You went to Hogwarts?" Sirius asked in a hushed voice, and Jules nodded, still smiling as she closed the door behind her, now that the conversation had turned more secret matters.

"Of course I did, Sirius Black," she grinned. "I kept on the down low, in case you were wondering why I never dated you."

Sirius laughed. "You must have kept a very low profile."

"Hard to get out when you stayed in the dungeons with your house."

"But how do you know about me?" Remus asked, ushering her to the couch in the living room.

"I was in sixth year when you were in first, and I noticed you go out to the Whomping Willow one night while I was on prefect duty. When I saw you carried into the hospital the next morning, it didn't take rocket science to discover what kind of condition you had," she explained. Before Remus could say anything, she added, "I didn't tell a soul. Not Dumbledore, not my diary. You were so young and I felt terrible that – well, I felt terrible, and then immensely guilty that I knew, so I've kept it a secret. I'll be taking it to my grave, don't you worry."

Remus sighed, leaning back. "And that's why you want me back at the shop."

"What?"

Remus looked guiltily at Sirius. "They fired me when I told them I was unavailable the night before last, for the full moon. I was going to find something else in the new year."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry," Remus replied, and added quite honestly, "and I didn't want your charity, even if it is Christmas."

"All the same," Jules interrupted, noticing keenly the concerned look on Sirius' face, "I really think that if you talk to Colton he'll give you the position back. I mean, Joshua, Marie, and Angela have all said that they won't be back in the new year. He'll have to give it back to you. And I'll make sure that I'm available for the full moons," she added quietly.

"You don't have to do that for me," Remus said. "And really, I don't –"

"Stop kidding yourself, Remus," Jules said quietly, and the Gryffindors could see the Slytherin in the girl. "Take the job, work it out with Colton. You won't get anything, and I want the shifts you won't be there, so don't even think for a second that I'm taking pity on you. I'm not, even though," she began, but shook her head. "I'm not taking pity on you, I just want my friend back in the shop and I know you enjoyed yourself."

Remus looked at her with a smile on his face. "I'll talk to him once the new year starts and he has three less employees and he'll be desperate for me."

"And for your knowledge of the dewy decimal system," Jules joked, standing up, and Sirius and Remus stood with her. "But, it's getting late and Santa still has to visit," she winked, starting towards the door.

"Have a happy holiday, Jules," Remus said, giving her one last hug.

"You both have a good time as well," she smirked, giving Sirius a hug as well.

"What is – if you don't mind my asking," Sirius said as they broke apart, "what is your last name?"

"Davenport," she grinned, opening the door, and Sirius laughed. "See you in the new year, Remus," she said, waving as she left the two men.

Remus closed the door behind her and looked at Sirius a confused look on his face.

"The Blacks despise the Davenports," Sirius grinned, answering Remus' unasked question. "The Davenports don't despise muggles, and they don't flaunt their money. They're brilliant." Sirius looked as though he had stumbled across free porn.

Remus laughed with him.

---


	22. Chapter 22

They fell asleep eventually, neither knew or cared what time it was. So it came as a mild surprise when Remus' eyes fluttered open to find Sirius no longer beside him. Stretching, he sat up, listening intently for sounds of his lover throughout the flat. All he could hear, however, was the careful rustling of paper and the snipping of scissors.

He stood up, his toes curling as they touched the floor, pulling the comforter off the bed and around his shoulders, pulling it closed in the front. He never was a fan of cold morning drafts, Christmas or not.

He padded quietly to the living room where Sirius had placed a second present, wrapped in cheap drug store wrapping paper with penguins printed on it, under the tree. But there was no Sirius in the living room. Before Remus could turn around, there was Sirius behind him, his arms wrapping around Remus' waist.

"Happy Christmas, love," he breathed on Remus' neck, and Remus turned to press his lips on Sirius'.

"Happy Christmas," he whispered, smiling and opening the blanket, inviting Sirius in. Sirius took the invitation, but they didn't stand there more than a minute before he asked the one question that he was always the first to ask.

"Can I open my present now?"

Remus laughed, nodding, and Sirius extracted himself out of his lover's arms and practically scuttled to the tree, a very childish grin on his face and sparkling in his eyes. He pulled the ribbon which gave way easily and then eyed Remus.

"Will this be harder than it looks?" he asked, grinning. Remus only shrugged in response, smiling into the tea he had conjured moments before.

Sirius turned back to the box and attacked the pieces of tape, only to find a box underneath. And under that box, another one, which was filled with shredded newspapers. Sirius quickly picked out the newspaper before pulling out his gift, which unfolded in his hands.

"A dog bed!" he laughed, and dropped it to the floor as he transformed into Padfoot, who flopped onto his back on the navy blue bed and barked happily. He then jumped up onto Remus, licking his face as Remus laughed, his tea sloshing on the couch. And then it was Sirius in his lap, kissing his face, his hands roaming Remus' body.

"I love it," he whispered in Remus' ear. "It's perfect." He kissed Remus soundly on the lips.

"I'm glad," Remus whispered against Sirius' lips. "And now, is it my turn?"

Sirius laugh filled the room as he allowed Remus access to his present and sat eagerly awaiting his boyfriend's response.

As was his nature, Remus too his time with the present, first giving it a gentle shake before carefully removing the ribbon, then un-sticking the tape so that the paper would hopefully come off in one sheet. Sirius gave a characteristically impatient sigh from the couch. But soon Remus was slicing open the tape of the box. As he opened the flap of the box to be greeted by the Beatles record that he had been eyeing up for weeks. He grinned broadly at Sirius, and was about to ask how they were to play it as he lifted the record out of the box, but stopped himself and let out and audible gasp as the new record player glinted up at his from the bottom of the box.

"Sirius," he breathed, setting the Beatles down gingerly and lifting the phonograph up and out, "it's wonderful."

"And you love it, and Happy Christmas," Sirius said happily, sliding off the couch next to Remus and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist. "And I love you."

"Can we listen to it now?" Remus asked eagerly, and Sirius saw the Christmas spirit in his eyes.

"You hook it up, and I'll get us something for breakfast," he replied, kissing Remus wetly on the ear before wandering into the kitchen.

Christmas passed uneventfully from that point on. Remus, overtly thrilled with the record, put it on immediately. Sirius spent half the day as a dog so that he could curl up in his new dog bed (and also because the cooking turkey smelt much more delicious as a dog).

They had a floo from Lily and James around lunch (did they have plans for New Years? Should they all get together to ring it in with some Marauder-ish mischief and drunken fun?), a floo from Peter around two in the afternoon Peter (who was with his mother, and what were they doing for New Years?), and by a few members of the Order (not excluding Dumbledore, who wore a wreath around his head, and McGonagall who was singing carols in the background).

The turkey (thanks to some magical tips on Remus' part) turned out almost as good as the turkeys at Hogwarts (and improved by cranberry sauce), and Sirius still managed thirds of Christmas pudding before Remus dragged him back to the living room for a glass or two of wine while the dishes washed themselves in the kitchen sink. The wine was dry, but after two bottles of it, it tasted all right, Sirius said, as they lounged on the couch, watching the lights blink on and off, the Beatles silenced for the night.

"My apologies if the wolf destroys your new bed," Remus mumbled sleepily, resting his head against Sirius' shoulder.

Sirius chuckled. "I've always wanted to get Moony into bed," he joked.

"Will you settle for Remus tonight?"

Sirius response was lost as Remus' lips found his, silencing him, his hand found the wine glass and put them both gingerly on the coffee table, his lips never leaving Sirius'. His hands wound into the dark man's hair, his hands pulling at the sweat pants that Sirius had pulled on for dinner, and Sirius pulled at Remus' undone trousers. But then Remus' hands stopped roaming Sirius' body and held the other man's hands above his head as they kissed passionately. He could feel that the moment was terribly clichéd, but the Sirius whispered "Remus", and Remus was undone. His hands moved back into Sirius' hair as his lips roamed along the man's jaw line, rough with the day's stubble, over to his ear, and as he bit it Sirius moaned, grinding his pelvis up into Remus. It became a blur as Remus moved down Sirius body, holding his hips in place as his tongued swirled around the other man's hardness, alternating sucking and scraping his teeth along the shaft, Sirius' hands wound in Remus' hair, begging for more, begging to stop, begging to be inside him. He whimpered as Remus' ministrations ended and he moved up to slide his tongue inside Sirius' mouth, and almost choked on his next moan as he felt the tip of Remus' cock at his entrance. With a whispered word, Remus began to enter his lover, Sirius panting and gripping Remus' hips as Remus ravaged his mouth. But Remus tried to move slowly, to move his hand between them to grasp Sirius' shaft and stroke him in time with his thrusts, which proved to be difficult, but only for a shot time, as Sirius began to pant, Remus could no longer concentrate on kissing, and they both grunted into each other's shoulders as they came. They breathed I Love You's before, sticky and satisfied, they fell asleep in front of the twinkling lights on their pathetic Christmas tree. Sirius curled against Remus' body, only to awake the next morning to someone calling in the floo.

"Happy Boxing Day, you poofters!"

Sirius sat up with a start, revealing too much of both he and Remus to their unexpected and uninvited guest.

"Dung!" Sirius yelped, most undignified in his sleepy and bewildered state. "What the hell are you – why –?"

"On Dumbledore's orders, o'course," Mundungus replied. "Mind, I was told to speak to Remus, and I and he are in – whatchamacallit – kahoots and whatnot. But," he snickered, as Remus blinked awake and pulled the covers around himself tighter, "not in the kind that you two have been getting up to."

"Only between us, Dung," Remus said softly, and Mundungus' snickering ceased. "What was it you needed to tell me?"

Dung glanced at Sirius before looking at Remus, who looked more composed than Sirius in his state of undress. "Well, Dumbledore said I supposed to tell you in private, what with the secrecy and whatnot."

"I'm part of the order too, Dung," Sirius reminded him coldly.

"What is it regarding?" Remus asked, disregarding Sirius' comment.

"You're underground work," Dung replied. "A couple of your contacts have jumped ship."

"They've gone over?"

"Agreed to, after they was threatened by Greyback."

"Did they say what he threatened them with?"

Dung shook his head. "That's why Dumbledore asked me to tell ya. Said you would be able to go underground, find out the details."

"Who did he threaten?"

Dung shook his head again. "No one told me. Dumbledore knows, but he ain't tellin' me no top secret stuff like that. I'm just the messenger."

"Thanks Dung."

"Anything to report back to the boss man?"

Remus shook his head, deep in thought. "I'll be in touch with him today."

Dung only nodded in response and left the fire with a faint pop. Sirius stood, letting the blanket fall to the floor, but Remus paid no mind. As Remus sat back on the couch, the frown lines on his forehead deepened with thought, planning, and speculation, Sirius strode into the bedroom, out of the bedroom, and then into the bathroom where he closed the door rather sharply and audibly locked it. Sirius ran a bath, got in, and sat for an hour, during which time the water grew cold and he grew angrier.

After that hour, it seemed that Remus awoke from his reverie. He got dressed and meant to wash before he went to see Dumbledore, but Sirius was still in the tub. He knocked lightly on the door.

"Can I come in?" he asked when there was no reply from Sirius.

"Can't," Sirius finally said after a prolonged pause. "I locked it."

"You don't want me to come in," Remus sighed. "What's wrong?"

"Why do you always assume that something's wrong when I lock the bathroom door?" Sirius snapped.

"Because if nothing were wrong you would be inviting me in, not biting my head off because I won't tell you things about the werewolves," Remus replied.

A long silence filled the space between Remus' words and his next question.

"That's why you're angry, isn't it?"

"Because you won't let me in on the work you do with your other furry friends? Perhaps. Nice conclusion, Moony."

Remus sighed again, but did not reply. He had his answer, and now it was up to Sirius to accept what Remus had taken on.

"You could always charm the door open," Sirius said quietly after a few minutes, and Remus almost smiled.

As Remus stepped into the bathroom, Sirius looked up at him with his classic puppy dog eyes.

"Why won't you tell me anything about the wolves?" he asked innocently, sounding more like ten year old boy than a twenty year old man.

"Because they would quite literally love to have you either as their newest pack member or breakfast, and I'd rather have you as you are," Remus replied plainly, unsmiling as he filled the sink with warm water. "the less you are involved, the less risk there is of you becoming a lycanthrope."

"Why not just tell me the basics?"

"I have," Remus said, looking Sirius straight in the eye before turning back to the mirror.

"You've told me that you're conversing with the werewolves in secret on Dumbledore's orders."

"And those are the basics."

"Why talk to them at all?"

"Voldemort."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"That's the only answer I have, Sirius. He is the reason I'm risking my neck with the less tame of my so-called species." Remus paused a moment, then looked straight at Sirius. "Actually, no, he's not the reason," Remus began. Sirius looked up at him and Remus finished with: "you are the reason I do it."

"Me?"

Remus nodded, and turned back to the sink where he finished washing up as he finished talking. "You and Lily and James and Peter are the reason that I'm talking to the werewolves, trying to help the order, trying to put a stop to Voldemort. You are the reason that I want peace on Earth."

"Good will to men," Sirius whispered and looked up at Remus again, a completely different look filling his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Remus. I didn't stop to think."

"I'm not going to be mad at you," Remus said. "Last I checked, you were the one angry with me." A small smile quirked his lips.

"I'm not anymore."

"I'm glad," Remus said, drying off and Turning to Sirius one last time that morning. "I'm off to talk to Dumbledore, and I don't know if I'll come home before I go back underground. Either way, I'll see you later."

"I love you," Sirius said as Remus stepped into the hall.

"I love you, too. Forever and always. Remember that," Remus replied.

"I will if you will," Sirius smiled.

---


End file.
